yellowrosefarm Posted January 12 Posted January 12 My Mom was famous for "What in the Sam Hill is going on here?" I always wondered who in the heck Sam Hill was. 2 2 Quote
Craig61019 Posted January 12 Posted January 12 No one liners but always knew when grandma and her sisters were talking about you it was in german Quote
acem Posted January 12 Author Posted January 12 I've heard alot of those. Keep em coming. As I hear them I think of more. It's raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock. On a more serious note. Sometimes dad would catch someone he was certain was stealing or something. Several times I heard him tell someone. You wouldn't be the first man I killed but might be the last. Once he was certain Virgil Gene had stolen something, again. Virgil was a know thief and general troublemaker. He told Virgil (see above) again. He had told him several times but this time he also told his grandson (about 10 at the time) in the passenger seat. If your grandfather is killed, tell the Sheriff I killed him. Virgil moved to another town after that. Dad was a WWII and Korea vet. 1 Quote
Alan Dinan Posted January 12 Posted January 12 One of dad’s most used phrase was “If you don’t have anything good to say about someone, don’t say anything!” 1 Quote
Chester5732 Posted January 12 Posted January 12 Something useful is “handier than a pocket on a shirt” 1 Quote
Sledgehammer Posted January 12 Posted January 12 "If brains were gasoline, he wouldn't have enough to run a piss ants go kart 2 laps around a Cheerio" "dumber than a box of hair" "there's only two things keeping you from kicking my a$$, fear and common sense" 2 Quote
lotsaIHCs Posted January 12 Posted January 12 He dropped like $h1t from a tall cow If his brain was gasoline it wouldn't power a pi$$ant's motorboat around the inside of a Cheerio. Quote
vtfireman85 Posted January 12 Posted January 12 “Colder than witch tuppies” was regularly heard from my father. Quote
Dirt_Floor_Poor Posted January 12 Posted January 12 1 hour ago, acem said: Sometimes dad would catch someone he was certain was stealing or something. Several times I heard him tell someone. You wouldn't be the first man I killed but might be the last. That reminds me of a now deceased neighbor. He farmed and had several rent houses on land he owned. He was constantly in a fight with someone who wouldn’t pay rent. I heard him say many times in an argument with one of them when they threatened him if he tried to kick them out “I’ve been where they played for keeps”. He was in the infantry in WW2 and was nearly killed by a German grenade in France. 2 Quote
dale560 Posted January 12 Posted January 12 Heard this one at work the other day. A vendor was talking about a former employee. He described the guy “ ”as dumber than a bag of hammers “ a few other vendors concurred the though I have never met the guy though. 2 Quote
mike newman Posted January 12 Posted January 12 ...local, old engineer , upon seeing a typical Cockie's welding endeavour.. ..''like sewing up a bulls arse with a snig chain..." ...and Grandad....upon seeing us kids going to feed the chooks... would solemnly pronounce... ,,,"I have never yet known a chook not to die in debt...>...just two sayings from my long departed childhood , that I always found amusing.. Mike.. 2 Quote
CIHTECH Posted January 12 Posted January 12 Old friend / neighbor always said "tougher than woodpecker lips" 1 Quote
vtfireman85 Posted January 12 Posted January 12 Mom’s father was Norwegian, and he was always calling the kids a “card” he was also good for saying “Full Fart Fremover” which meant “full speed ahead”, but was enormously funny to a kid. Quote
Alan Dinan Posted January 12 Posted January 12 One dad used if someone had a good idea. “You’re a pretty fart smeller!” ” You may think it’s gum I’m chewing, but it’s snot!” That one was funny to little kids. Let’s head out, like a herd of turtles! 1 Quote
Sledgehammer Posted January 12 Posted January 12 "We're off like a prom dress" My Dad did say this one "you give a man a rope and enough time and he's bound to hang himself sooner or later" in reference to people being shady in business dealings. "He's so poor he can't pay attention" "Did your parents have any children that lived?" "colder than a witches tit in a brass bra" 3 Quote
int 504 Posted January 12 Posted January 12 "If brains were dynamite he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose" "harder than a whore's heart" "number than a nun's ####" 1 Quote
from H to 80 Posted January 12 Posted January 12 Don't let your catfish mouth overload your hummingbird AZZ Can't means ,your not trying A man put it together,so a man can take it apart.Used frequently when working on equipment. Slower than molasses in January His elevator,don't go to the top floor Quit crying.,or i'll give you something too cry about The butter dun slid off his biscuit 1 Quote
lotsaIHCs Posted January 12 Posted January 12 A friend who had kids that went to school with mine used to tell them, when they were complaining about something he wanted them to do, "you can do it my way, or you can do it my way crying". 1 Quote
acem Posted January 12 Author Posted January 12 Neighbor says after you come up with a particularly good idea. You got a head on you like a cutting worm. Quote
DT Fan Posted January 12 Posted January 12 A pipefitter Iowaboy and myself used to work with said of a fellow that went through apprenticeship with us; That guy would rather climb a tree and lie to you than stand on the ground and tell the truth! 1 Quote
acem Posted January 12 Author Posted January 12 He tell a lie when the truth would suit him better. 1 Quote
DT Fan Posted January 12 Posted January 12 Let's just say he was more than a little full of B.S.! Quote
vtfireman85 Posted January 12 Posted January 12 My favorite is “lets make like a fetus and head out” Quote
Diesel Doctor Posted January 12 Posted January 12 On 1/11/2026 at 9:10 AM, sandhiller said: Don't let the ants crawl up your leg and chew on your candy ass "tit in a wringer" here meant you were in trouble Get throwed in jail, don't waste a dime calling me? 1 Quote
Chester5732 Posted January 12 Posted January 12 Let’s make like a tree and leave. Let’s make like a horse turd and hit the trail. Quote
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