Things Dad used to say...

[Sask466]

“If he was half as smart as he thinks he is, he would be twice as smart as he is.”

[vtfireman85]

“Negatory Pig Pen” (yes I know where it came from) 

“a fir piece” when something is a long way away.

As a kid asking where mom is, “she went screaming off into the night” 

or asking Gramp where someone was “didn’t you see her heading down the road with a bale of hay over her shoulder?”

[ray54]

When working cattle I was often told,  the slow way is the fast way.

And that Sam Hill fellow past this way too.

[dads706]

10 minutes ago, ray54 said:

When working cattle I was often told,  the slow way is the fast way.

Very true words......

[Gearclash]

My dad said fairly often "now don't jump to conclusions.  That is what track athletes do . . ."

[dads706]

Often heard......"she sent her saddle home"

[New Englander]

 

[Alan Dinan]

A fir piece, was used here by dad.

His elevator doesn’t go to the top floor 

He’s a few bricks shy of a full load 

You can get more corn in a crooked row 

and with that You have to cultivate with the same tractor!

when us kids were little, dad would tell us to clean up every bean and pee on our plate. Someone would respond with “We don’t have any peas!”

[AKwelder]

Dad always told me about” the straw that broke the camels back”

probably when I kept doing dumb things and trying his patience 

 

While working around machinery

never put your fingers where you wouldn’t put your pecker 

 

 

[barnsfull]

In surprise or to set up a friendly wager....

I'll kiss your ass on the courthouse steps at high noon and give you an hour to draw a crowd!

[BigArn]

Pretty Girl.....     Pretty ugly, and pretty apt to stay that way......

[Diesel Doctor]

On 1/11/2026 at 10:31 AM, junkandcattle said:

Uncle called hogs gate lifters. He despised hogs. When dad left home the hogs went with him. 

Dad called hogs "mortgage lifters "

Some days they were both right, some days dad was wrong 

We raised about 500 head from farrow to finish each year.

They made us a good living over the years and Dad even put money in the bank.

They taste good too.

[hardtail]

My buddies Dad used to say don't let the truth and facts get in the way of a good story

He had a ton of them

[35desoto]

On 1/15/2026 at 8:37 AM, int 504 said:

She'd be late to her own funeral.

Sums up my sister in law

[BrunsFarms]

My uncle would say when you questioned a story, 

Its my lie, I will tell it the way I want.

[GaAgTech]

22 hours ago, vtfireman85 said:

Negatory Pig Pen” (yes I know where it came from)

And

”When I tell you to put a rock under a wheel, I mean a ROCK!

 

[Red River North]

To the slow driver ahead, "What are you doing, planting corn?"

[B.B.]

56 minutes ago, Red River North said:

To the slow driver ahead, "What are you doing, planting corn?"

That's a lot more pleasant then what I tend to say... 

 

 

 

[vtfireman85]

13 minutes ago, B.B. said:

That's a lot more pleasant then what I tend to say... 

 

 

 

If you aren’t yelling W** at the windshield, you aren’t paying enough attention. 

[farmallcubkid]

 

4 hours ago, GaAgTech said:

And

”When I tell you to put a rock under a wheel, I mean a ROCK!

 

Then the you drive army jeep car went over the edge of the cliff.  (Yahoooooo)😄

[GaAgTech]

Another one—-

“Everything’s a hammer if you use it wrong enough”

and 

“Sometimes you’re the bug, and sometimes you’re the windshield”

[midnightman]

“You make a better door than a window”

[cobfly]

He couldn't make a pimple on a grown man's as$

[int 504]

In reference to people driving over the center line my mother would say "he wants to take his half out of the middle".

[Chester5732]

When taken by surprise “Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit”.