Things Dad used to say...

[Shell1066]

Several from dad. "Put your hands in your pockets and start whistling" when in a store shopping. Kept 8 boys from touching stuff. " Two wrongs don't make it right" .used when us boys got to fighting and blaming the other. RIP dad!!

[Sledgehammer]

My Dad doesn't have saying but Ive heard a few.

@vtfireman85 was referencing "I've been to three county fairs, two whore houses, and a goat roping, but I ain't never seen anything like that"

"you give that boy a job laying down and he would stand up to quit"

"worthless as tits on a boar"

"I'll be dipped"

"so much for a fountain of youth, what about a fountain of smart"

in reference to someone not using a turn signal- "I didn't know that (insert model here) car didn't come with signals?"

"that boy doesn't have the sense God gave a goose"

"if I could

buy him for what I thought he was worth and sell him for what he thought he was worth, we could all retire"

[Wes806]

In reterence To hp or electrical equipment Dad always said "Go twice the size that they say you need you'll never regret it".

[Kevin in ky]

I was raised by my dad’s parents grandpa was born in 1917 granny in 1926.A fool and his money shall soon part he would say especially about a purchase he didn’t want you to make and you’re gonna wake up dead one of these mornings if he thought you were not living like you should. I miss them both so much,thanks for bringing this topic up and sharing your old family sayings.

[iowaboy1965]

Mother said there would be days like this. She just didn't say how many

[junkandcattle]

5 hours ago, red2thebone sr said:

Must be a north Missouri thing. Was one of dad’s favorite sayings as well. 

What area of northern Missouri was home?

[B.B.]

My granny always said "the horse knows it's way home".  I was at least 30 when I finally thought about what that saying actually meant lol.  

 

And somewhere in those sayings was "if the good Lord willing and the creek don't rise" 

 

And I still to this day don't understand "all day as long as it don't rain".    

As in is it Sunday?  Yep all day as long as it don't rain lol.  It's still Sunday whether it rains or not 

[Kevin in ky]

Have you guys ever heard older folks using the saying Ned in the first reader? Snowing like moodys goose?Had an older lineman at work that used those frequently.

[CRVB91]

4 hours ago, Dirt_Floor_Poor said:

It’s apparently not told to children much these days “Life’s not fair”

When I used to say "its not fair" as a child- my father would respond with "Neither is a black mans @$$" 😅

[sandhiller]

I've been a dad for awhile so this one's mine

Tell me the truth and I'll help you get through whatever trouble you've gotten yourself into

Lie to me and your on your own

 

[red2thebone sr]

1 hour ago, junkandcattle said:

What area of northern Missouri was home?

South of Brookfield just over county line into Chariton County. 

[Chester5732]

When my grandpa saw a nice pickup or whatever he would say “I wish he couldn’t sh!t until he gave that to me”.  

[lotsaIHCs]

When my father in law encountered a particularly hard job or if something gave him a hard time getting it apart or back together, he'd say "that was like stretching a mosquito's a$$#0/e around the outside of a wagon wheel". Only he'd say it in German so it sounded extra harsh.

[junkandcattle]

32 minutes ago, red2thebone sr said:

South of Brookfield just over county line into Chariton County. 

Probably 30 or 35 miles from me. 

[Alan Dinan]

1 hour ago, Chester5732 said:

When my grandpa saw a nice pickup or whatever he would say “I wish he couldn’t sh!t until he gave that to me”.  

I’ve heard “I wish I had that and he had a feather up his @ss, we’d both be tickled!”

[12_Guy]

My brother in law would say "I had a DAA" - dumb a$$ attack. He was a city boy who didn't always have much common sense but was always willing to try and help on the farm. 

Grand Pa would always say that he "needed to get a corn cob" in reference to how fast one of us kids were driving. He intended to place it under the accelerator pedal of the truck/ car. 

An older gentleman who was a good friend would say "out where the owls fxxk the chickens" when referring to an out of the way place. 

[Alan Dinan]

Dad had many one liners. Now I can’t think of any! I’ll have to come back to this!!

[Chester5732]

If something moves fast it is “quicker than a Bayer aspirin”

[Alan Dinan]

An old saying about everyone has heard, “It’s colder than a well digger’s azz!!”

A local cop told me this one. Do you know what your dad told me? He said that he had to pay your siblings to be good, but you were good for nothing! 
I had never heard that one before, was priceless, dad laughed his azz off at that one!! Everyone did that was standing there, even me! That guy was a lot of fun!

[jass1660]

“He’s so dumb he fell in a barrel full of boobs and came out sucking his thumb!”

[dale560]

2 hours ago, lotsaIHCs said:

When my father in law encountered a particularly hard job or if something gave him a hard time getting it apart or back together, he'd say "that was like stretching a mosquito's a$$#0/e around the outside of a wagon wheel". Only he'd say it in German so it sounded extra harsh.

German the language of love. 
 

[billonthefarm]

Neighbor used to shake his head and say “I’ve been to 2 worlds fair and a goat roping contest and I ain’t never seen anything like that!”

[dale560]

This is one my Dad picked up from his Dad. Dad only said it a couple times I ever heard in German but he would say it in English sometimes. It translated to English as      (  for money you can have sugar blown up your a—.) 

Dad always said it meant for the right amount of money you can have anything done. The more stupidity the more money.

[bkorth]

Dad was never afraid of hard work and taught us kids the same work ethic but sometimes one of us would say something to the effect that if we had this or that this job would be a lot easier and his response would be "I've got more time than I've got money". When referring to someone who struggled to make a go of it but whom he had great respect for he'd say "they didn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of"  (but they made do with what they had).

[td9bcf180]

Let sleeping dogs lie.

If the women don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy. (ooops- sorry- that was Red Green- not my Dad).