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Posted

My dad used to say things you don't hear much anymore. Maybe yours did too? Hopefully we can remember some.

Notice the mistletoe on my coat tail.

You talk like a man with a paper a__ hole.

His mother is the only one who will ever love him.

Jake leged preacher.

 

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Posted
7 minutes ago, acem said:

You talk like a man with a paper a__ hole.

My grandfather used to say that, I know what he meant, but I have no idea what it means. 

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Posted
7 hours ago, vtfireman85 said:

My grandfather used to say that, I know what he meant, but I have no idea what it means. 

My dad said that.I think thats the greatest of all sayings. He was in the Navy during WW2.I don't know if he got it there or what.But other than my brothers,I don't know anyone else that heard that saying. I guess if your the man with that you,got troubles or really crazy.Oh and one other I really like that he said is "it feels like I been through **** and half of Georgia ".I mean no disrespect to those down south but that was always a cool saying. 

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Posted

The early bird gets the worm... 

I'm not sleeping, I'm resting my eyes (eventhough he was infact snoring for a brief time) 

And of course, our least favorite 

"Go ask your mother" 

 

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Posted

Wash your face and hands and put your shoes on, we're going outside. I have no idea. We never went outside after he said that.

He mentioned the guy with the paper A-hole too.

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Posted

Don’t tell lies !

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Posted

In reference to foreign cars-"A peanut roaster with a washing machine motor" usually when following one on a mountain road. When someone did something offensive with vehicle- "I wish I had a ten ton Mack".  

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Posted
10 hours ago, vtfireman85 said:

My grandfather used to say that, I know what he meant, but I have no idea what it means. 

Pretty sure it means you talk a bunch of crap and/or don't know what you're talking about.

Your sewing it from your paper orifice. Paper is weak and lets it right out.

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Posted

FUBAR and SNAFU were common sayings from dad's generation but he didn't say them much.

He would measure the size of a job by how much beer it takes to get it done.  6 pack job, 12 pack job, full case.

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Posted
42 minutes ago, junkandcattle said:

Have not had this much fun since sis got her tit caught  in the wringer.

Must be a north Missouri thing. Was one of dad’s favorite sayings as well. 

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Posted
1 hour ago, junkandcattle said:

Have not had this much fun since sis got her tit caught  in the wringer.

My wife has a wringer washer story.

They had one as a kid. Her and her sister were washing, wringing and hanging out the clothes. Sister got her hand caught in the wringer. As It pulled her arm up into it, she screamed for help. My wife hit the reverse and backed her arm out.

Says she could have stopped it and opened it up instead but chose to reverse it...

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Posted

Don't let the ants crawl up your leg and chew on your candy ass

"tit in a wringer" here meant you were in trouble

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Posted

"do you want to wear your a$$ for a hat?" 

 

"Poor people got poor ways" 

 

"That's tighter than Dick's hatband"

 

"Well horse crap Brown" except he didn't say crap

 

Let me think on this a while he had a lot of things he said lol 

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Posted

A buddy's dad growing up said a couple that make chuckle.  He was a Vietnam vet in the marine corp to put context to them 

 

"Well wish in one had and crap in the other and see what fills up faster"

 

" Might as well put your head between your knees and kiss your tail goodbye"

 

And my favorite was... " Boy don't let your mouth write a check your tail can't cash" 

 

Obviously I cleaned up his language slightly lol 

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Posted

This is something I still laugh about to this day.   When I was about 12ish I was helping my best friend and his dad sort cattle.   My buddy kept calling steers heifers and heifers steers.   His dad corrected him several times until he'd had enough.... 

 

That's when he blurted as angrily as possible  "dang it boy if you don't stop calling steers heifers and heifers steers I'm going to shove your face in a ----- and learn you the difference.". 

 

At 12 I lost it laughing and sitting here now it makes me laugh.   He was so frustrated and a very Christian man but he had enough that day lol 

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Posted

Uncle called hogs gate lifters. He despised hogs. When dad left home the hogs went with him. 

Dad called hogs "mortgage lifters "

Some days they were both right, some days dad was wrong 

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Posted
2 hours ago, acem said:

Pretty sure it means you talk a bunch of crap and/or don't know what you're talking about.

Your sewing it from your paper orifice. Paper is weak and lets it right out.

Yeah, I knew what he meant when he said it, and that’s a spot on description. I just never could quite wrap my head around the correlation between the two. I had no idea until now that it was so widely used. 
gramp never used profanity, not in front of us kids anyway, but he was reported to have told people who really made him mad to “go take a flying F—— at a galloping goose” 

It only got used once, but my dad had a childhood friend who lived down the road in a pair of mobile homes grafted together, he was poorly treated at home and spent a great deal of time at my grandparents, one day the stepfather shows up, gonna take the kid home and beat some sense into him for whatever crime he was being accused of, Gramp told him he wasn’t taking the kid, and he better go on back to his little tin box and stay there, then he shut the door in the guy’s face. 

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Posted

That dipshit couldn't pour sand outta his boots if the instructions were written on the bottom.

He couldn't whip his way outta a wet paper bag.

Slicker than goose $hit on a brass doorknob.

Colder than a well diggers as$.

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Posted

Go suck an egg

 

Run you chicken fat! (When watching someone run at a track meet or something)

Did you have a dumb attack? 

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