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Mike Newman


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He was talking about making the trek to the US in June and maybe making RPRU2024.

The last I heard, there was some fight over the covid shots.

He would be a great guy to meet and have a beer with at RPRU.

 

 

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On 4/2/2024 at 2:30 PM, acem said:

A few things you might not know about Mike.


● His passport requires no photograph
● When he drives a car off the lot, its price increases in value
● Once a rattlesnake bit him, after 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake finally died
● His feet don't get blisters, but his shoes do
● He once went to the psychic, to warn her
● If he were to punch you in the face you would have to fight off a strong urge to thank him
● Whatever side of the tracks he's currently on is the right side, even if he crosses the tracks he'll still be on the right side
● He can speak Russian… in French
● He never says something tastes like chicken.. not even chicken
● His tears can cure cancer, too bad he never cries
● The circus ran away to join him
● Bear hugs are what he gives bears
● He once brought a knife to a gunfight… just to even the odds
● When he meets the Pope, the Pope kisses his ring
● His friends call him by his name, his enemies don't call him anything because they are all dead
● He has never waited 15 minutes after finishing a meal before returning to the pool
● If he were to visit the dark side of the moon, it wouldn't be dark
● He once won a staring contest with his own reflection
● He can kill two stones with one bird
● His signature won a Pulitzer
● When a tree falls in a forest and no one is there, he hears it
● He once got pulled over for speeding, and the cop got the ticket
● The dark is afraid of him
● Sharks have a week dedicated to him
● His ten gallon hat holds twenty gallons
● No less than 25 New Zeland folk songs have been written about him
● He once made a weeping willow laugh
● He lives vicariously through himself
● His business card simply says 'I'll Call You"
● He once taught a german shepherd how to bark in english
● He bowls overhand

● Once while sailing around the world, he discovered a short cut
● Panhandlers give him money
● When he goes to Spain, he chases the bulls
● His shadow has been on the 'best dressed' list twice
● When he holds a lady's purse, he looks manly
● When in Rome, they do as HE does
● His pillow is cool on BOTH sides
● The Nobel Academy was awarded a prize from HIM
● While swimming off the coast of Australia, he once scratched the underbelly of the Great White with his right hand
● He taught Chuck Norris martial arts
● Time waits on no one, but him

........Ace, old chap....you need to seek help...and quickly......I suspect you have been cavorting , again, with Arkansas Ruth...the serial chicken killer........and your cognitive matter has been entrapped in her giblet cavern......shame................

Mike

(two more weeks up in the boonies...sigh  )

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50 minutes ago, mike newman said:

........Ace, old chap....you need to seek help...and quickly......I suspect you have been cavorting , again, with Arkansas Ruth...the serial chicken killer........and your cognitive matter has been entrapped in her giblet cavern......shame................

Mike

(two more weeks up in the boonies...sigh  )

Well guys, party's over. I guess we can all go home ...

Mike's here.

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On 4/5/2024 at 7:44 AM, New Englander said:

Anyone you know?

 

Yes...those folk are but 50 odd miles from where we live....didn't  know them personally, but  knew one of the pilots !!

Mike

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On 4/5/2024 at 4:25 AM, acem said:

I'm just glad you're ok @mike newman

We we're beginning to get worried.

But the legend lives on!!!

Ace...we have often read of your of your fascination of the fair sex.....but   just in case you did not remember , among your many conquests , ''Arkansas  Ruth's"'  classic features,...here is a picture of her......

Your friend,

Mike

pro-Spabe67J.jpeg

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7 hours ago, mike newman said:

Ace...we have often read of your of your fascination of the fair sex.....but   just in case you did not remember , among your many conquests , ''Arkansas  Ruth's"'  classic features,...here is a picture of her......

Your friend,

Mike

pro-Spabe67J.jpeg

Mike

Would that be a fancy verion of a b i t c h e s'  box in the background?

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9 hours ago, mike newman said:

Ace...we have often read of your of your fascination of the fair sex.....but   just in case you did not remember , among your many conquests , ''Arkansas  Ruth's"'  classic features,...here is a picture of her......

Your friend,

Mike

pro-Spabe67J.jpeg

Thanks for the pic. I am a fan of the far side but missed that one.

Here's the whole sheet.

image.thumb.png.4aca1c9cfb5b7432658dfd4dd9c4c465.png

That's a pretty rough bunch she runs with.

I bet Ruth might be a wild one in the sack!

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That was on my daily Far side calendar a week or so ago. It's a classic. Gary Larson had a wonderful warped mind.

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On 4/2/2024 at 10:07 AM, Diesel Doctor said:

He was talking about making the trek to the US in June and maybe making RPRU2024.

The last I heard, there was some fight over the covid shots.

He would be a great guy to meet and have a beer with at RPRU.

 

 

Sorry , but Mike doesn’t drink alcohol.

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27 minutes ago, Rusty_Farmer said:

Sorry , but Mike doesn’t drink alcohol.

I bet he would have Some of his Black Billy Tea however.

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