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Falling off the wagon


MinnesotaFarmall

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Figuratively, although I have physically once or twice. 

 

Little back story, I have always drank alcohol of some sort every night since I turned old enough to have a taste. Parties, just at home, sometimes in the middle of the day. It didn't seem to matter. I wasn't the type to be drunk in the morning and last all day, but I was the type that needed it to go to sleep or else I laied there in bed awake. 

 

When my wife was pregnant with our second, while I was sitting there getting drunk, I had a sobering moment. If I'm this drunk, how will we get to the hospital if it's time? I had to quit. I swore off it from that night. I went two years before I had another drink, quite frankly it was by accident, a cup I thought had my tea in it in the cart in the barn had a mixed drink. It was on from that point. Back into the same rut I went. I couldn't get back on the wagon. If I didn't have any in the house, I went to the barn, if none in there I went to the shop, if none in there it was the same thing, I would lay in bed awake wishing I would have at least a drink. I had to stop, it was starting to get bad again. Three months ago I was sitting there looking at my drunk a** face in the mirror and said you are pathetic, and you need to be done. This has gone too far, and it might not keep going at this pace. I swore off of it again and haven't touched any for the whole three months to this day. It's not much, but it's a start. 

I'm not looking for praise, but sharing this so if someone reading it has fallen off the wagon, you can climb back on like me. It's hard to climb on the wagon, but it's harder to tell yourself to get your crap together. You always think I'll do it tomorrow, but you have to commit today. 

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Wishing you success, I drank progressively harder for 40 years and quit cold turkey after my kidneys were hurting every morning, been clean now coming up 5 yrs this January, I just put in my retirement notice last week and driving home thought of stirring up a whiskey to celebrate for about 2 seconds then said why wreck a good streak, should have done it years sooner, I have one daughter that is closer to how I was with partying and a son that has a zero tolerance for anything mood altering, as much as you are doing it for yourself consider the gift you are giving your family 

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I drank hard alot while in the service and after I got out for years.  It didn't much for me to drink a 12 pack a night.  Finially I told myself no more. Its been a few years now since I said no more. Every once in awhile after working on a good hot day I think a good cold one will taste good. I'll get one beer take it home and drink a sallow or two. Ugh this tastes like crap and pour the rest down the drain. I can't stand the taste any more.   Good luck to you 

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I hope my post 'drinking and posting' hasn't been offensive or bothersome in any way.

I drink occasionally and not much when I do. I'm a cheap drunk (because I don't drink often I guess) so one drink and I'm buzzed. Two and I'm getting sloppy.

I have had friends and family who were addicted to alcohol, drugs and/or other things. It is difficult.

 

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I drank a lot on weekends when I was young 40+ years ago, but quit once we were married.  I drank very little until about 3 years ago when my knee started get bad and the whiskey helped me get to sleep.  It got a little worse the last year, my wife is starting to act more like her mother, crazy.  But I always laid off at least one night a week.  Last Thursday morning a flu virus hit me like a hurricane.  I was sitting on the toilet with diarrhea,  puking in the waste basket and sweat was running off my elbows making a puddle on the floor.  Ended up so dehydrated they put me in the ER for IVs to get rehydrated.  So now I've been off the booze for five days, may try to stay off a while, at least til I get my new knee in December.

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Its not good for anyone in quantity, I go through phases, sometimes i will go 6 months without and then i will have a couple beers every night, never more than that. Still i seriously notice the difference, I feel better, more energy and more drive to get stuff done when i am not drinking, and i am less argumentative for sure, which is a bonus. 
good luck to you, if you are struggling in getting there alone, ask for help, it is there for the asking and you aren’t alone. 

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Was a weekend drinker in my younger years. Rarely have one any more. In fact it's been years now. Don't really miss it.

Think of it this way. What example do you want to or NOT want to set for your kids or any one who respects and looks up to you?

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I admire your discipline! Very few people that have a tendency to drink too much can admit it to themselves and actually do something about it. I have a family member that has battled alcohol and to this day will not admit that he has had a problem for many years. I generally have 2 drinks in the evening and rarely have more, having too much to drink just makes me feel sick. Which is probably a good thing.

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Congratulations! My dad was addicted and never was able to quit and it finally killed him at 50. While not a problem for me I was addicted to nicotine and had a terrible time quitting smoking. I kicked it a couple of times and went back. One I remember clearly when a co-worker passed out baby cigars and I lit up. The bit I inhaled sent me to the cigarette machine shortly thereafter. That demonstrated to me the power of addiction. It's been at least 40 years but I know that the lung damage from that and other things is permanent. 

As for drinking: I enjoy one IPA almost every night except when restricted by our 12 hour bottle to throttle rule. The FAA's rule is actually 8 hours but the company's is 12. At home my wife and I have a beer or glass of wine with dinner and a single malt nightcap. The Scotch is expensive but a small vice.

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11 hours ago, MinnesotaFarmall said:

Figuratively, although I have physically once or twice. 

 

Little back story, I have always drank alcohol of some sort every night since I turned old enough to have a taste. Parties, just at home, sometimes in the middle of the day. It didn't seem to matter. I wasn't the type to be drunk in the morning and last all day, but I was the type that needed it to go to sleep or else I laied there in bed awake. 

 

When my wife was pregnant with our second, while I was sitting there getting drunk, I had a sobering moment. If I'm this drunk, how will we get to the hospital if it's time? I had to quit. I swore off it from that night. I went two years before I had another drink, quite frankly it was by accident, a cup I thought had my tea in it in the cart in the barn had a mixed drink. It was on from that point. Back into the same rut I went. I couldn't get back on the wagon. If I didn't have any in the house, I went to the barn, if none in there I went to the shop, if none in there it was the same thing, I would lay in bed awake wishing I would have at least a drink. I had to stop, it was starting to get bad again. Three months ago I was sitting there looking at my drunk a** face in the mirror and said you are pathetic, and you need to be done. This has gone too far, and it might not keep going at this pace. I swore off of it again and haven't touched any for the whole three months to this day. It's not much, but it's a start. 

I'm not looking for praise, but sharing this so if someone reading it has fallen off the wagon, you can climb back on like me. It's hard to climb on the wagon, but it's harder to tell yourself to get your crap together. You always think I'll do it tomorrow, but you have to commit today. 

Keep at it & keep looking forward. You get a few years under your belt & you won't even know you miss it.

Keep your spine about you in the meantime.

And quit for the betterment of yourself. Everything falls in line after that.

Mike

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I pretty much quit when I got married. Before then I was busy, but my wife and daughter have made me WAY busy. Too busy to write off the time to give to (1) the drinking itself, and (2) the recovery. It's the recovery that I hate. I have to throw away a whole day of feeling like garbage if I get into it.

I say this because maybe it could help someone. Find more to do if it helps. My great grandmother, grandmother and mother said/say "idle hands are the devil's workshop", and I believe that wholeheartedly.

Good on you for being a hardass and doing the hard thing. A lot of "men" don't have the toughness. Clearly, you're made of some ballsy stuff.

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If you find that alcohol is your master, do what it takes to get rid of it.  I have seen too many lives ruined or ended early on account of alcohol abuse.  Example.  

There was a guy in my class at school that started drinking at an early age.  By the time he was out of school he was a pretty hard core alcoholic.  In spite of that he married right out of school and had a family.  Unfortunately, he never grew out of the alcohol use, and may have even dabbled in drugs.  He met his end in his mid 30’s in a bizarre way, directly from alcohol.  He had driven home in his pickup, apparently stone drunk, on a very cold winter night.  Parked near his house but was too stoned to shut the pickup off and go in the house.  The pickup ran out of fuel and quit, and he froze to death, it being well below zero F outside that night.  Left behind a wife and I think 5 children.  

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With my job I was around a lot of AA people.

Many told the same story of needing that peer pressure and assistance to stay sober.

I have seen a lot of programs come and go, some good and some bad, but AA still remains.

Stop at a meeting sometime and see if you like what you see.

You will know in your heart.

There are a lot of people facing the same demon.

They can help you and you can help them?

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One day at a time.

Each new day is full of challenges

And rewards!

Sadly, I know firsthand what alcohol can do to a family.

I also know the joys of getting that family member back from the depths.

I wish you all the best and pray for strength and determination.

 

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7 hours ago, 1256pickett said:

You said you’re not looking for praise but I’ll give it to you anyways for sharing your story. It’s a good story to share 

That’s it for sure. Praying for your success…. Know the feeling of looking in the mirror and hating what you see.

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Well, best of luck, do what's best for you. I still, and have always had for years 5 or 6 cans after work. It's my reward. But it's 5pm to 6:30pm. even on weekends I bust my a$$ all day and wait until 5pm. If it's a snowy cold Sunday, I'll start with a Caesar at 4pm, but I don't get the day drinking thing. I have too much to do every day. 

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18 hours ago, Gearclash said:

If you find that alcohol is your master, do what it takes to get rid of it.  I have seen too many lives ruined or ended early on account of alcohol abuse.  Example.  

There was a guy in my class at school that started drinking at an early age.  By the time he was out of school he was a pretty hard core alcoholic.  In spite of that he married right out of school and had a family.  Unfortunately, he never grew out of the alcohol use, and may have even dabbled in drugs.  He met his end in his mid 30’s in a bizarre way, directly from alcohol.  He had driven home in his pickup, apparently stone drunk, on a very cold winter night.  Parked near his house but was too stoned to shut the pickup off and go in the house.  The pickup ran out of fuel and quit, and he froze to death, it being well below zero F outside that night.  Left behind a wife and I think 5 children.  

Sad deal. And his brother is fighting the same battle. And Mom and Dad are not any help. 

I feel your pain @MinnesotaFarmall  My Dad has struggled with it for years, I think he’s on the wagon now.  One brother has struggled a bit, maybe because he lives across the road from Dad. Younger brother (from what I hear, haven’t talked to him in 10 years) has a real problem. Started with pot after high school (he’s a heckuva drywall guy when he’s sober), guy he worked for made pot available, he’s got summer kids, the whole nine yards. 33 years old and hasn’t got a handle on life. I struggle with it myself, the last year or so has been worse than before.  Having one or two at the end of the day can easily turn into 5 or 6 or starting at noon and hoping to be sober by the end of the day. We can blame it on a lot of things but it comes down to what kind of person we want to be. YMMV
 

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...I am going against the grain here...and say that I have virtually no alcohol.....not because I am God's gift to the Ladies Christian Temperance Union....or any thing like..... that...but because of the death of my Dad...from a drunk driver...My Dad whom I met when I was four yrs old....(WW2 )...and a  scant 17 yrs later he was gone...and then, just six months after that ..my best Mate ...you know the boy down the road   with whom   you grow up together   from raiding the neighbours  Orange trees  to building a cabin up in the hills   for hunting  and opossuming   etc etc ...was killed by a kid in a 56 Chevrolet sedan ..T  boned at an intersection.  Les had a 1949 Bonus Built 3/4 ton Ford...''got him, his Australian Fiancee    and the kids   'girl friend ''    The kid was pissed out of his tree....no license even.....sigh

Now I just. know that about every adult that cares to read this , has a similar story......family ....  friend ....  neighbour down the road......this sort of thing just happens, and you just have to get on  with it....accept  it and move forward....however difficult it may be.....but for me personally, I figured I could get on with my life  without alcohol , if that  was the result of a bit of excessive drinking.....

,,,and that is how its been for me...

I admire @MinnesotaFarmall  for his candid overview of his penchant for a having drink to many ...and having the guts to tell the troops on this fine site   about the issues its created and how he has faced those issues.....

Well done Mate...and all the very best for the years ahead  ...

Mike

....and trust me...I have got myself into all sorts of trouble over the years...without any help ''from the bottle '' .....;)  

 

 

 

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I've known some people who only drank beer for years. Rarely ate or drank anything else.

Amazingly they did pretty well considering. Of course they were drunk. 24/7. I guess there is enough calories and other nutrients in beer to sustain you because they didn't shrivel up like people who are continually high on drugs do.

Luckily the only addiction I seem to have is this screen with red power on it...

Well I'm addicted to dirt, critters and old iron too...

Thx-Ace 

 

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5 hours ago, ihrondiesel said:

Sad deal. And his brother is fighting the same battle. And Mom and Dad are not any help. 

If we are thinking of the same family, the next younger brother died in his late 30s after utterly toasting his liver on alcohol, and the youngest brother is also a wreck.

Knowing your family history is helpful when it comes to this stuff.  I have a good friend who would not drink as he knew abuse ran in his dad’s family, and he didn’t want to go down that road.

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I am not trying to sound like a preacher here, but my life was profoundly changed by a drunk driver and I approach alcohol with much more restraint as a result.  I do enjoy a cold beer when gathered with friends! 

Back in 1995, my Sister was struck and nearly killed by a drunk driver.  Her senior year of high school.   I spent my 21st birthday with her in critical condition in a coma. So, I am cautious as an adult.

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Thanks guys for the words of wisdom and stories. We all have a friend or family to look at when we want to know the negatives of an abused substance. I don't want it to be me. I can say I have a good support system if I need it. My family all has one or two to enjoy but thankfully none of them I would consider to be abusers of anything. I can hang around the people who drink and I can and do say no thanks. The urges are almost subsided but now and then I need to just walk away for a while. 

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I have been around people with alcohol problems my entire life , I got to watch people destroy their business’s , marriage , friendships so that being said I have been carful when drinking . When we go out to eat I might have a couple beers . I’m thinking back when I was young we drank way more then and nothing good ever came out of that but I was young and that’s what people did for entertainment. One of the biggest things I learned about drinking is there is no business done while there is drinking going on along with no talking shop . I’ve seen a lot of bad things happen when there is booze involved , peoples attitude change and they say things there really thinking and it’s not fun to be on either side of that so I avoid this at all costs . When I’m someplace and I see people start acting stupid and the arguing starts it’s time for me to head home .

The biggest thing that has happed to me in my life is I lost my first wife from a man who had been at the bar and was headed home ,he was crossing a 4 lane hwy and my wife was headed back home on her Harley and the guy didn’t see her and hit he broadside and killed her . The state trooper told me a couple weeks later when I found out he had been drinking that the man wasn’t drunk but he had been drinking . The story gets worse , the man that hit my wife never worked again along with having a nervous breakdown and never worked again and died several years after that. I should have gone and talked to him and I never did maybe I could have saved his life , it was an accident .  This happed 26 years ago and that feeling never goes away .

Glad to see you guys sharing your experiences with drinking /good and bad , keep your head up and stay busy and don’t let liquor run your life .

Danny 

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