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Pack rats and hoarders.


vtfireman85

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This represents perhaps 2-5 percent of the “stuff” my in-laws have that is not in use, but is in storage, 90 percent of this is broken beyond reasonable repair furniture that belonged to some dead relative that may even have died before either of them were born. Someday my wife and i will have to deal with all of this. 
 

i am going to put this out there as bluntly as i can, because it seems to be an epidemic afflicting folks of a certain age. 
 

The dead people that owned the stuff you cannot bear to part with are dead, they no longer give a flying rats arse what happens to their crap. Pretty strong chance if they were alive, they wouldn’t care about 95 percent of it anyway. STOP SAVING AND STORING IT! YOUR CHILDREN DO NOT WANT IT! 
i am not referring to items being loved and used, i am referring to items being stored for “sentimental reasons”.

my life goal is to be rid of generations of crap, and when i die. I will leave my kid/s with the stuff i cared most about until the end and have it organized in such a manner as they can easily dispense with it. 
 

 

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I totally agree.    There is some items that I like or that I want but outdated items of no practical use from people that I never met and didn't know I don't have a lot of space for. I like room. Just because we have room in the house doesn't mean we have to fill it with something.

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14 minutes ago, Big Bud guy said:

After both my grandparents were gone, we had a rummage sale for 2 days and still took 4 truck loads out to the dump with our 67' Loadstar.  

Put it this way, just as an example, her grandmother had a roughly 6k square foot house with full basement, the house was full to the gills. My wife spend 3 years sorting, at the 11th hour after it sold her uncle rented a box truck and spent a full week hauling “stuff” to their farm where it all went in the mill. It will never see the light of day again until it gets hauled out and hauled away after he dies, and he's 53 and very healthy. 

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Looks like you have room for lots more there @vtfireman85 ..... 😂

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9 minutes ago, bitty said:

Looks like you have room for lots more there @vtfireman85 ..... 😂

It is storage that is being paid for, and there is a shipping container in their driveway full, basement full, barn full, keeps hauling things south to store there, not to mention the crap being stored in our house its a sickness. Spent a whole lifetime perching uncomfortably on broken hand me down furniture because they cant part with it and get new

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Gee boxes and totes, can see floor ceiling and walls in places.....more organized than most. And it's their stuff. So it makes them feel good to hang onto it....I don't see a problem.

 

🤷‍♂️Ok so after reading the replys i didnt see maybe there is a problem. 😄 But its still their stuff and their life. All you can do love them because your wife does and take care of it when time comes.

 

 

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4 minutes ago, iowaboy1965 said:

Gee boxes and totes, can see floor ceiling and walls in places.....more organized than most. And it's their stuff. So it makes them feel good to hang onto it....I don't see a problem.

 

🤷‍♂️Ok so after reading the replys i didnt see maybe there is a problem. 😄  But its still there stuff and their life. All you can do love them because your wife does and take care of it when the time comes.

Doug makes a great point. As frustrating as this is, it is what it is. Pretty sure you're not going to change them. When my Mom went into 'independent living' in town, she SETTLED IN, my friend's term. It taxed my nerves every time she asked me to bring more 'stuff' in. My name was on a document that said I would clean out her apartment when she was gone and I got to do that in January, lots of fun!

In the "What are you working on" thread my reply was, sorting. I'm making headway. Peck away at it a few hours almost every day. Sorting Mom and Dad's stuff, sorting my stuff, moving stuff. Kind of getting tired of 'stuff'!

I wish you good luck going forward.

Seems like a good time for this;

 

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44 minutes ago, vtfireman85 said:

It is storage that is being paid for, and there is a shipping container in their driveway full, basement full, barn full, keeps hauling things south to store there, not to mention the crap being stored in our house its a sickness. Spent a whole lifetime perching uncomfortably on broken hand me down furniture because they cant part with it and get new

I'm just saying that the storage cost per ton would be lower if it was fuller .... 😁

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36 minutes ago, Matt Kirsch said:

How come this is bad, but hoarding old farm machinery in a similar fashion is good?

I'll tell you, it's a "Depression Baby" thing. Children of people who lived through the Great Depression. Save everything. Never know when you will need a part or piece and you won't be able to get it.

Matt, I am living this nightmare. Dad wasn't born until after the depression but apparently Grandma and especially Grandpa made the impression that you never throw anything away! I have been cleaning up the farm for 15 years now. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

As to the original post, I have been working on downsizing my stuff, slowly. I have so much fishing and hunting 'stuff' that I'll never be able to use it's insane! Might as well turn some of it into $$$$. I've thought for years about getting a table at a gun show, really needs to happen.

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1 hour ago, Matt Kirsch said:

How come this is bad, but hoarding old farm machinery in a similar fashion is good?

I'll tell you, it's a "Depression Baby" thing. Children of people who lived through the Great Depression. Save everything. Never know when you will need a part or piece and you won't be able to get it.

My 96 yr old grandfather always said “You haven’t lived through the 30’s.  You never know when you’ll need that.”  
Interesting this topic comes up now. I have decided/convinced myself to start selling off my beloved ‘75 blackstripe 66 series tractors this spring. I always thought it would be neat to have one or two to hand down to my kids. I’ve realized my kids don’t have any interest in them, and they are just taking up space and are continually going into disrepair.  I figured if they want one when they get old enough to appreciate one, they can buy one. Don’t want to put a burden on them having to deal with a bunch of iron when it’s time for me to depart. 

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2 hours ago, iowaboy1965 said:

Gee boxes and totes, can see floor ceiling and walls in places.....more organized than most. And it's their stuff. So it makes them feel good to hang onto it....I don't see a problem.

 

🤷‍♂️Ok so after reading the replys i didnt see maybe there is a problem. 😄 But its still their stuff and their life. All you can do love them because your wife does and take care of it when time comes.

 

 

The boxes and totes are my doing . 
you see it is more complicated than it seems on the surface. 
my wife and I built a small house next door to my inlaws, she liked being around here, The big plan was that they were moving south and he really wanted this property to stay in the family and to have us nearby, so in an “offer you can’t refuse” situation we agreed we would do a house swap and buy the property at a very favorable price.  and since they were building a house down south , a lot of “stuff” would go to that one and some to the small one. Well they bought a fully furnished house and just picked up their suitcases and walked next door. It became apparent much too late to back out that he had planned the whole thing so he wouldn’t have to part with any crap. I believe we were just supposed to live among the clutter, having whole rooms filled with items that no one has gone near in 30 years. 
while i agreed to the plan, part of it was that it was 1 empty house for another, I refuse to be the custodian of someone else's crap. 
at this point we are fully invested and too late to back out, while we own the property we can’t very well sell it, at least not now. It has created many issues, and furthers my firm belief that

if you love your children you wont leave them this much crap that you couldn’t bring yourself to deal with. 

1 hour ago, Matt Kirsch said:

How come this is bad, but hoarding old farm machinery in a similar fashion is good?

I never said it was good, and i am not saying that people shouldn’t do what they enjoy, but what i am talking about is pure crap, broken furniture, broken hot tubs, old skis, worn out rugs, portable dishwashers that have burned out heater elements, 6 broken coffee makers, couches and chairs that have been replaced because they were too far gone. Nope, sorry, those aren’t bettering anyones existence. Pay to store them and move them again and again and again. 

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6 minutes ago, 1566Hog said:

My 96 yr old grandfather always said “You haven’t lived through the 30’s.  You never know when you’ll need that.”  
Interesting this topic comes up now. I have decided/convinced myself to start selling off my beloved ‘75 blackstripe 66 series tractors this spring. I always thought it would be neat to have one or two to hand down to my kids. I’ve realized my kids don’t have any interest in them, and they are just taking up space and are continually going into disrepair.  I figured if they want one when they get old enough to appreciate one, they can buy one. Don’t want to put a burden on them having to deal with a bunch of iron when it’s time for me to depart. 

My wifes great aunt had everything set up,  the entire house was cataloged, and appraised, she updated this periodically, the will was extremely specific as to her wishes, if there was anything she wanted done after the the fact it was all in “the red folder” 

this is my goal, keep what I enjoy as long as I enjoy it, i will probably leave my daughter with a lot to deal with, but i will also leave her with the resources to know what to do with it. 
 

i would never presume to tell my parents or my in-laws not to keep doing what they like, but they he inability to let go of what doesn’t matter to them and hamper their enjoyment for the sake of accommodating dead peoples rubbish is sick. 

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On the great depression piece my grandmother would save used wrapping paper and was out ziploc type bags amoung other things.  An amazing lady who was probably a product of her experiences just like most everyone.  

On the opposite side of the family my mom is the hoarder.  Between not having much growing up and not wanting to part with the memories of her mother and our childhood she saves everything.  Someday it is going to be a lot to go through.

We are tractor enthusiasts so tractors and implements are not hoarding.  To others maybe but not to us.

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When I was in high school my friends Dad was an auctioneer, he’d hire us kids to get ready for auctions. Mostly household , estate auctions. At that time a lot of depression era people’s estates. Unbelievable what we hauled out of attics an garages: purses with broken straps, broken cups, plates anything you could think of that should have been disposed of 50 years before was there. But I will say to check things like purses an storage boxes closely , we found $3000 in an old worn out purse one time, old coins left in containers money put in books for “safe “ keeping

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honestly its not bad at all - i grew up in family that had little from the depression and no one threw anything away, panty hose included. 

its a lot to deal with and go thru especially if you dont have time. sometimes its best to pack it up in tubs like you did out of site/mind and put in shop/shed/storage if you can afford and once they dont see it/miss it, then its easier to get rid of or whatever you need to do. 

we were blessed/cursed with a tornado that took both farm houses, all bulidings, all contents, and all we were left wtih was foundation and parts of our house and parts of tractors the rest was all gone and I mean GONE.......even the fence posts and panels, sucked the pumps right out of the wells. 

hopefully you find a way to thin it out and not upset too many in the process good luck with all that slow and steady eating that elephant

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Jake make a detailed list of your stuff and current market value that may change some minds?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

VT I think the hot Tubs and dishwashers would slowly disappear 1 at a time....I agree some stuff has to go from time to time.

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My wife has been getting on my a_s more and more recently about getting rid of my “crap” as she calls it.

I have aviation magazines and aviation books up the kazoo, large file boxes full of farm equipment sales brochures, ERTL 1/16 scale tractors ‘til h_ll won’t have them, dozens upon dozens upon dozens of unbuilt new in the box plastic model airplane kits, dozens of 1/200 scale diecast jetliner models, Playboy magazine collection all issues in mint condition from starting in 1974 thru end of 2001, tons of VHS video tapes from air shows I’ve been to through the years, photographs of many subjects over the years, on and on and on.

She keeps hounding me to start getting rid of stuff- sell it, give it away, or pitch it she says. I’ve told her all that stuff represents thousands of dollars worth of stuff, and that my daughter will inherit it,  (except I won’t let her inherit my Playboy mag collection, lol)

Wifey tells me your daughter isn’t going to want all your crap and that either her or my daughter is going to have to rent a big roll off dumpster to chuck all my stuff in if I kick the bucket. This is very disheartening to hear. I told her well you or she will be throwing away tens of thousands of dollars worth of stuff. She says neither she nor my daughter will have time to deal with it. 

Man I don’t know, I guess I should start trying to sell it all. Give certain things away here and there. I thought I’d have time to start building some of my model airplane kits after I retired, but I feel busier now in retirement than I did when I was employed working. There’s always something to do on the property outdoors or on or in the house. There’s times when I wonder if I shouldn’t go back to work to catch a break. Wifey always cracking the whip on me do this do that,  fix this fix that, paint this paint that. 

I don’t know how I ever even had time to even go in to work 5 days a week. No rest for the wicked. 

 

 

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