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  • Yesterday was not a celebration of freedom for a neighbor family, their oldest son, in his early to mid 30s,  has had a problem with alcohol for a couple years, had got sober last year for a few months and then fell off the wagon again.The way I understand it they were taking him to therapy this week. Yesterday they couldn't find him, they had been looking for quite a while and were about to call my son to come with his drone when his dad found him in a cornfield right by their place, he had taken his  own life.  I can't begin to understand what must go through a person's mind to do that to yourself and even worse to your family. I feel so bad for his dad finding him that way, he will never get that image out of his mind. I feel sorry for this person who thought life was so bad that it wasn't worth living. I'm angry with this person for doing this to his family. He leaves behind a wife and two young children, please pray for this family. 
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Prayers. Very unfortunate for those left behind 

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Prayers  for the family sent. Suicide comes from a very dark place. Beyond the comprehension of most of us not in that situation. No person in their right mind would do that to a family they cared about, they might envision they are doing the world a favor by leaving it, when what the world really needs is them to get and accept help. 

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Alcohol abuse can take a person to places we can't comprehend.

When bad enough, often times they have no recollection of their actions.

I have seen the darkness from the outside looking in and it scared the **** out of me.

My prayers are for peace and understanding for this poor soul's family.

Any consolation is that this young man is free from the torture he couldn't shake. 

And the family can begin the healing process.

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This  is a situation that is beyond the comprehension of the majority of people.  I have been through it close-up and it calls for prayers because there are no logical solutions for most of us. That was in 1974, to this day, I sometimes wake up asking myself, "What could I have done differently?"

 

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You ask what goes through the addicts mind? Desperation, self esteem is in the basement, the feelng of nothing is going to change, get better, you have tried to rehab/quit and you've failed, so YOU are a failure, if I'm a failure then I am failing my family, how do I correct this? I leave, bottom line you are so sick and tired of failure you don't look at things being better tomorrow because all of the tomorrows past led to this and it is not better its worse, and if people think that this is the easy way out they are so far off base because this is not easy, for me the thought process was with my family and right until the missfire I could not believe the second chance.

Like the old saying life is a biitch and then you die I'm glad I came out of the doldrums because since that time life has been pretty bloody good, and after 10 years of total total sobriety its been great, I wish this young man could have found out for himself, I have sort of wandered here but you were wondering what this fellows thought process was and this is the answer that I found. RIP.

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2 hours ago, vtfireman85 said:

Prayers  for the family sent. Suicide comes from a very dark place. Beyond the comprehension of most of us not in that situation. No person in their right mind would do that to a family they cared about, they might envision they are doing the world a favor by leaving it, when what the world really needs is them to get and accept help. 

What Seth said.

prayers and condolences for the family and friends 🙏🙏🙏

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1 hour ago, Dasnake said:

You ask what goes through the addicts mind? Desperation, self esteem is in the basement, the feelng of nothing is going to change, get better, you have tried to rehab/quit and you've failed, so YOU are a failure, if I'm a failure then I am failing my family, how do I correct this? I leave, bottom line you are so sick and tired of failure you don't look at things being better tomorrow because all of the tomorrows past led to this and it is not better its worse, and if people think that this is the easy way out they are so far off base because this is not easy, for me the thought process was with my family and right until the missfire I could not believe the second chance.

Like the old saying life is a biitch and then you die I'm glad I came out of the doldrums because since that time life has been pretty bloody good, and after 10 years of total total sobriety its been great, I wish this young man could have found out for himself, I have sort of wandered here but you were wondering what this fellows thought process was and this is the answer that I found. RIP.

Thanks for sharing that

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  I've had the misfortune of a couple people I knew committing suicide.  If I had to guess something troubled this person pushing him to alcohol then things further declined from there.  A problem can be so close that we can almost reach out and touch it but yet it is invisible to nearly all who know the troubled party.  This person most likely was to a point where he could no longer hold it together.  The pressure most likely immense.  We normally do not know the problems that such people face.  Some while very real are so hard to imagine to those who have not faced them.  I've learned things about people that I could never imagine when I knew them from school decades ago.  Before we get too judgmental there are still anti-depressants on the market that have undesirable properties such as creating suicidal thoughts.  Judgment is best left to God in these matters.  

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Jakes on point

What one  man turns to for comfort to deaden his pain May come back and tie the knot on the noose.

the thought of letting anyone down becomes an anvil you can’t shake and ANYTHING will keep that thought inflamed.

imo that’s why the depression side of things is such a tough nut to crack. The very first thing that’s needed is for them to admit there’s an issue bothering them, which is a catch 22 because that’s exactly what they perceive as a failure.

sorry just my .02

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15 hours ago, zleinenbach said:

the thought of letting anyone down becomes an anvil you can’t shake and ANYTHING will keep that thought inflamed.

And, although we are taught that taking one's own life is taking God's will into our own hands, I cannot believe that a merciful and accepting Christ/God would NOT save a person's soul, the soul of a person who saw no other way out.

And as far as medicating ones self into 'sanity', how does these medications 'solve' the underlying cause(es) of the problem?

There are enough examples of seeing how children are "medicated" into even greater medical/psychological problems, up to insanity.

AND, I would venture to say, a leading cause of depression, IS small town (even inter-family) gossip.

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A few years ago, I had a coworker who took his life.  
As I look back, it seemed that he was withdrawing as he seemed to come into the office less and less.  He called me one day, and said he was working while parked in the yard to use the company high speed internet rather than come inside.  It did not seem noteworthy at the time.  


After his death, his phones were redirected to my desk.  It was hard to have to tell callers of his death as the inevitable question was “what happened?”.  


The hardest of all was when his widow asked if she could have a recording of his phone voice mail greeting only to find that it had been deleted must the day before.  


A sad time indeed.  
Brian

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The survivors usually wonder if they could have done anything different. 
Prayers for the family and neighbors from here. 

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