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Modern funeral rant/vent


acem
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A friend died too young, 45 years old, and left a good woman a widow much too young, with three teenager children. He was a good man, a big man, and the world is lesser without him. The cancer took him.

His funeral was today and it irritated me...

There was 40 minutes of pictures and video scrolling across a video monitor.

Very few words from the preacher, he didn't have time.

A grey haired man had a Mohawk.

Many teenagers at the funeral, friends of his children. Most were on their phone the whole time.

The boy in front of me was watching porn. At least he was looking at women! I wonder if my wife noticed?

Phones kept going off.

I guess I'm getting old. I remember church funerals in the hot humid Arkansas summer. Sweat pouring down your back. I'll fly away and when the saints go marching in sung along by everyone... 

Times are changing but I don't always like everything about it...

Thx-Ace 

 

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Know what your saying. It seems to me that a funeral is getting to be more of a reunion for get together in stead of who it is for.  At my mother's funeral family kept saying We haven't kept in touch and lets start keeping in touch. After a week of the funeral I haven't heard from any of them. Sister from out of state has only called twice and that was to find out what was going on the cash Mom had. I've sent her texts about what's happening and she don't reply. Ok sorry about the rant. If I seem the stuff that you did Ace I don't think I could've kept quit about it. 

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You're a better man than I, Ace. My pious Presbyterian nature would've likely gotten the better of me and someone would've had a phone stuck where the sun don't shine! It's a bloody shame the world has come to what it has; I too remember those hot Arkansas funerals, singing and a preacher's eulogy, all while sweating through your shirt and swatting wasps. I'm afraid those old days are gone, my friend. 

Mac

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BTW

I could never mention this to anyone round here. His family is important to me and I would not want to offend any of them.

While this is not an anonymous posting, I feel safe they won't see it. Honestly it's just the way things are now.

The teenage boy was trying to be discrete but I noticed. I doubt anyone else saw. He was cupping his hands around his phone but I was right behind him... 

Thx-Ace 

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My Grandfather's funeral was basically the minister of the church taking shots at the family and complaining about it being held in the funeral home instead of the church. Hardly mentioned the man in the casket 7 foot behind him. 

My Grandpa and I did not have a good relationship and even I thought he deserved better. Told the minister after the service I wouldn't have given that type of a service to a dead dog much less a human being. A number of other members of my family echoed the same sentiment. 

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Ill admit Dads side of the family isnt exactly proper....lots of drinking and parties for a couple weeks when someone goes...but, not in the church. Even the folk that dont believe or go to church still have respect. Kids would be dealt with...and i dont know a single person friend or family that would have tolerated the porn. Shame. 

Im sorry you had to sit through that..and like mentioned, you've got some self control. For the record im done, i do have some tolerance left but im done with this bad behavior. Kids, adults, everyone. Practiced my doneness today with the "parts" girl at napa. Wonder how many she took a tude with before i said something....anyway thats another story.

Im sorry for the loss of your young friend.

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RESPECT it’s something that doesn’t seem to be taught anymore it’s all about self satisfaction for one’s self. It’s every where to the Dunkin’s drive through on every corner to the convenience store on ever other the I need it now same with the phone attached to everyone’s ear or fingers. One thing that drives me nut is listening to someone in the line at a store having a full on phone conversation not the oh it’s important I gotta get this step outa line to take care of call. The just lack of respect for anyone else’s thoughts or feelings for self gratification. 

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What about the funeral home that says only two hours of visitation are needed? When my Grandpa passed away in April, the funeral home told our family that two hours of visitation would be more than enough as "He was old, no one is coming anyway". That comment really upset my Dad. The day of visitation, there were people coming the entire time. Later we heard from many who couldn't make it but wanted to. 

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Don't let someone else tell you how to have a family funeral.

You are the boss and they work for you.

If they refuse, there are other funeral homes.

The funerals here are getting very casual.

That is one thing but a cell phone, on and in use, goes beyond decent etiquette.

This is what our schools are teaching our kids.

Someone has to say, "NO". Let it be us.

 

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Its sad all the way around people dont come to honor/visit past relative anymore either our local cemetary doesnt get enough donations to pay for mowing and upkeep and are only going to be able to mow for a few more yrs - we are trying to supplement it as much possible but at some point we wont be able to - people just dont come or give anymore - generations are dying out

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12 hours ago, acem said:

A friend died too young, 45 years old, and left a good woman a widow much too young, with three teenager children. He was a good man, a big man, and the world is lesser without him. The cancer took him.

His funeral was today and it irritated me...

There was 40 minutes of pictures and video scrolling across a video monitor.

Very few words from the preacher, he didn't have time.

A grey haired man had a Mohawk.

Many teenagers at the funeral, friends of his children. Most were on their phone the whole time.

The boy in front of me was watching porn. At least he was looking at women! I wonder if my wife noticed?

Phones kept going off.

I guess I'm getting old. I remember church funerals in the hot humid Arkansas summer. Sweat pouring down your back. I'll fly away and when the saints go marching in sung along by everyone... 

Times are changing but I don't always like everything about it...

Thx-Ace 

 

Itsa sad deal ace i hv been to a few in the past couple yrs and its hard to watch/experience especially since you care so much about them and you know the family is hurting and going through sometime unimaginable 

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3 hours ago, Diesel Doctor said:

This is what our schools are teaching our kids.

I would hate to think that, BUT given the curriculum that seems to be "required learning' today, along with the ideology that the 'teachers' were exposed to during their years at university, this may well be more widespread than what we would expect.

HOWEVER, this type of behaviour IS what comes from television, the movies, and 'music', and IS truly representative of what Hollywierd, and its "entertainment" industry, along with the mainstream MEDIA, promote, and, sad to say, is successfully transitioning the 'culture' of the entire country into.

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I have had two Funerals in my family in the recent past.

Both were conducted with dignity and respect. 

So I guess it is about location and situation.

All people today are not irreverent to all situations.

 

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5 hours ago, FarmallFan said:

What about the funeral home that says only two hours of visitation are needed? When my Grandpa passed away in April, the funeral home told our family that two hours of visitation would be more than enough as "He was old, no one is coming anyway". That comment really upset my Dad. The day of visitation, there were people coming the entire time. Later we heard from many who couldn't make it but wanted to. 

Exactly when my mother passed away  there was a line  over a half mile long waiting to get into the funeral home  to pay their respects. She was very well liked she was involved with childcare in town for 40 years and the scouts and different positions in the small town I grew up in. I remember the funeral home being upset because it was going so late. 

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15 hours ago, Diesel Doctor said:

This is what our schools are teaching our kids.

 

 

Sorry, but I think that excuse is way overused. Way too many kids are learning this behavior right at home. In many ways I feel bad for many teachers, principals, coaches, bus drivers, and janitors, etc that have to put up with entitled, rude, disrespectful kids who learned their attitudes from parents with the same qualities. Reprimand a kid or give a kid a bad grade, and many times those parents are right at the school with "not my kid", or "you're picking on my kid." 

Just my observation, anyway

 

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I agree and disagree on the school/parent thing...from my view its situational a lot of the time. 

Back in oregon my wife had a friend and while over there one day her friends kid came home from school and promptly told his mom "guess what i learned today?...u cant hit me" wife says her friend replied "do u want find out if thats true?" Lol more to that story but i think the point is made.

Another time....during my first marriage, i had a step daughter. Great kid...raised her from 5 to 16 then her mother and i parted ways. Anyways this bright happy 12 year old girl comes home from school just heartbroken and depressed. We finally got her to reveal the cause of her anguish...she wasnt sure if she was a lesbian. ??? Getting to the point i asked if she is or has been sexually active...answer no. Ok good, why these thoughts. She told me because she loves some of her friends more than others.. not a problem...i love some of my friends more than others but im not gay.. when she gave me her sex ed packet for the week it all became clear. This packet was a half inch thick and well i cant/wont mention all the nutso crap that was in it. Ex wife had to physically stop me from driving to the school. Not long after we put her in another school using my sisters address. This was almost 15 years ago.

Another short story...sister has 3 kids, 2 girls and a boy. Boy is the oldest. She wont physically punish them...now i know spanking kids is just one way to punish and is very situational...but sometimes very necessary. Two incidents where i smacked that boy. Attempting to hold his sister under water(glad i caught him when i did) and shooting people in the face with his nerf gun. His dad is a cop and agrees with my decisions(lol) the two times i put the smack down. 3 times in my forhead(darn good shot lol) and then he went after grandpa before i took him down. He cried to dad and got ignored and my sis was ticked at both of us.. i warned him the first time about face shots. He was about 8 or 10 when that happened. Hes nothing but respectful to me now...however he is almost finished with year one of bad kid catholic farm school. 

Final story. I got my little azz whipped by mom right up to when she started breaking stuff on impact...well plastic spoons and hotwheels track dont break lol. Anyways i have 2 sisters and deserved 99.9% of the whippings i got. Im not perfect by any means...but know how to bite my fowl tongue and mind my manners. I actually thank mom for doing so. Dad hit me twice that i can remember. Once in the mouth for dropping an f bomb in front of the wrong person and caught a fist at 15 for punching a girl in the face at school. 

The point here is i dont expect a teacher etc to be teaching kids manners but dont take that from the parent...on the flipside teachers etc are the only ones sometimes that are there to teach these lessons. Little bit a both i guess?

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I just have to add...thinking of mom, shes been gone a while now but had she seen that porn boy in church....oh boy she would have humiliated him.

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Watching porn at a funeral, discrete or not is way over the top. Kid obviously has some issues/ no proper mentor or something going on. 

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23 hours ago, FarmallFan said:

What about the funeral home that says only two hours of visitation are needed? When my Grandpa passed away in April, the funeral home told our family that two hours of visitation would be more than enough as "He was old, no one is coming anyway". That comment really upset my Dad. The day of visitation, there were people coming the entire time. Later we heard from many who couldn't make it but wanted to. 

I hope your family has the self respect to never use this funeral home again…

I had an Uncle who died. Visiting hours at the funeral Parler the evening before the church services. 
The family got to the funeral home approximately 20-30 minutes early that evening only to find it locked with nobody around. Not a single employee of the funeral home. We made numerous calls and waited. And waited, and waited…. eventually someone tried the back door and found it unlocked and then opened the door to let the mourners in…

the following day, the pallbearers had to take it upon themselves to load his casket into the hearse AND drive the hearse to the church…

needless to say, I wasn’t impressed.

 

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