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Oh no Sandhiller....not you as well......:mellow:...water proof boots are essential ...or if you wear ''cowboy''   boots....just drill two little holes , either side of the front bit...this way any surplus moisture wil evaporate out ...when you are in the truck  etc..

....and , just move into the ''drip  dry''  lingerie...its quite fashionable now..you know....:rolleyes:

.....and what is fifty feet long and smells of urine   ???

Mike

....its the ''conga dance line''  ...at the seniors   ball.....Now you are so  old you...never mind

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Your mother warned you getting a “Prince Albert” was a mistake you would regret in later life, but nooooo, you wouldn’t listen, all the girls think its hot…. How hot is it now? 
gotta put your finger over the extra hole😉

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Just needs a little shake.

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4 hours ago, Ian Beale said:

There is that sign

"We aim to please.  You aim too, please"

And one of the choruses of Eskimo Nell

That is why as little kids, our mother insisted that us boys ‘sit’ on the commode, even if all we needed was take a leak.

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Couple weeks after my prostate came out I was at my brothers place and his one year old grandson was wearing pull ups. Told my brother and sis-in-law that he and I were wearing the same type under wear. Brought a few chuckles.

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2 hours ago, Rawleigh99 said:

Uh oh Sandhiller!  Now you have offended some woman who identifies as a man!  Straight to HR with you!  LOL!

I am HR's worst nightmare 👹👺.     ,😄

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4 hours ago, Lars (midessa) said:

That is why as little kids, our mother insisted that us boys ‘sit’ on the commode, even if all we needed was take a leak.

And then it squirts out between the lid and the bowl, and you watch the ever-growing puddle between your feet.

Or, you position yourself standing up, and it still runs down the front of your underwear.

They say that oracles can tell your 'fortune' by reading tea leaves, wonder IF they could tell mine, by the patterns on the driver side seat cushion of my car?

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4 hours ago, Lars (midessa) said:

That is why as little kids, our mother insisted that us boys ‘sit’ on the commode, even if all we needed was take a leak.

I get a hard time about this from people, i sit at home, never figured what was so manly about spattered pi$$ all around, i don't care how good your aim is, theres a halo. 
Good chance to catch up on RPM. 

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10 minutes ago, vtfireman85 said:

I get a hard time about this from people, i sit at home, never figured what was so manly about spattered pi$$ all around, i don't care how good your aim is, theres a halo. 
Good chance to catch up on RPM. 

Well Seth, I guess if you hunt with a shotgun you need to be closer to your target when you pull the trigger😉😄

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10 minutes ago, sandhiller said:

Well Seth, I guess if you hunt with a shotgun you need to be closer to your target when you pull the trigger😉😄

I find it hard to stand that close and get all the equipment out😉

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Sign above the toilet in one of the two restaurants in Santa Anna, says something like this:

Hunters who brag about their 300 yard kills, somehow can't hit this.

Another one that I once saw, read:  "Pilots with short props, need to park close to the hanger".

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Leads into a story that I've told before, condensed version...where a roommate in a very intoxicated state was in my bedroom thinking he was in the bathroom and in the dark. With my acoustic guitar leaned up against the wall managed to drain his lizard right through a 4" hole, what's the chances when most men can't hit a 16" opening

Seth you wish

Jeff you may as well install red floor mats in your office, buddy used to always say got hauled up on the red carpet for his many trips to HR

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1 hour ago, hardtail said:

Leads into a story that I've told before, condensed version...where a roommate in a very intoxicated state was in my bedroom thinking he was in the bathroom and in the dark. With my acoustic guitar leaned up against the wall managed to drain his lizard right through a 4" hole, what's the chances when most men can't hit a 16" opening

 

...yes..I can well imagine you have made a 'note' of that   particular transgession.....:mellow:...from my cultured youth ,I remember the stories of the odd shoe...found brim full of   the more dashing members  alcohol feuled bladders.....

Mike

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2 hours ago, vtfireman85 said:

I find it hard to stand that close and get all the equipment out😉

Maybe a simple little "equipment" change is called for. 🤔

this chart may help if you know your target yardage 😉

252508972_gunchokes.PNG.c6559528e03225bf7d3ea5980da20889.PNG

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2 hours ago, hardtail said:

Jeff you may as well install red floor mats in your office, buddy used to always say got hauled up on the red carpet for his many trips to HR

Naw, they just run the HR newbies past my cage as part of their final exam. 

My handlers take my ankle monitor off an extra hour a week if I jump up and rattle the bars🤣

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3 hours ago, hardtail said:

Leads into a story that I've told before, condensed version...where a roommate in a very intoxicated state was in my bedroom thinking he was in the bathroom and in the dark. With my acoustic guitar leaned up against the wall managed to drain his lizard right through a 4" hole, what's the chances when most men can't hit a 16" opening

Seth you wish

Jeff you may as well install red floor mats in your office, buddy used to always say got hauled up on the red carpet for his many trips to HR

Everyone who has ever lived in a rowdy college dorm has a story about peeing somewhere they shouldn’t. A friend went to a concert (Old Crow Medicine Show) they stayed over in Burlington, i wasn’t able to go because of some wedding or something. Apparently they went out after the show, and furthered their inebriation. The 4 went back to the motel room they were sharing, where my buddy said “things were going the right way” with a chick he had been set up with. he had to take a leak, got up, walked around the bed and relieved himself on her side (of the bed). I gathered it was a quiet ride home, and he never got a second date🤣

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4 hours ago, vtfireman85 said:

I get a hard time about this from people, i sit at home, never figured what was so manly about spattered pi$$ all around, i don't care how good your aim is, theres a halo. 
Good chance to catch up on RPM. 

 

4 hours ago, sandhiller said:

Well Seth, I guess if you hunt with a shotgun you need to be closer to your target when you pull the trigger😉😄

Saves time not having to pull the tweezers out…

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51 minutes ago, Ihfan4life said:

 

Saves time not having to pull the tweezers out…

The voice of experience 😉

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...I have noted before on this site...how much fun it is   talking about men...old and older ....ejecting  the human waste...from below the waist  etc...

...this , sometimes exciting  pastime...for example, exchanging body   fluids  with some nubile  young   'full gender'' female ..  (hopefully the ejected fluid, while certainly not categorised  as   'human waste'...but , none the less...one desperately hopes it will be , shall we say be ...''wasted''  ) .to the depressing era,  when one realises  that from that moment on..one has to spread   ones   own   legs   ..  to save anointing  ones   footwear...with  those  quickly diminishing stream of drips......

...and    @vtfireman85.....  please don't bother to further shame an old bloke ...with the ''drip''  being the verb of choice..............:(......:rolleyes:

Mike

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18 minutes ago, mike newman said:

...I have noted before on this site...how much fun it is   talking about men...old and older ....ejecting  the human waste...from below the waist  etc...

...this , sometimes exciting  pastime...for example, exchanging body   fluids  with some nubile  young   'full gender'' female ..  (hopefully the ejected fluid, while certainly not categorised  as   'human waste'...but , none the less...one desperately hopes it will be , shall we say be ...''wasted''  ) .to the depressing era,  when one realises  that from that moment on..one has to spread   ones   own   legs   ..  to save anointing  ones   footwear...with  those  quickly diminishing stream of drips......

...and    @vtfireman85.....  please don't bother to further shame an old bloke ...with the ''drip''  being the verb of choice..............:(......:rolleyes:

Mike

As my mother-in-law (a career Physicians Assistant) so frequently says for so many of life’s problems .. 

“we have drugs for that” 

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