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I just turned the electrical world backwards......


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The Dark Sucker Theory
 
  For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent
 information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark.
Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers rather than Light Bulbs..
 
 The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark
has mass and is heavier than light.
 
  First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck
dark.
 For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less
 dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the
 greater its capacity to to suck dark. Dark Suckers in a parking lot for example have a much
larger capacity than the one in this room. 
  As with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of
  dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker.
 
  A candle is a primitive form of Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You
can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark
that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating
candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the
candle.
One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.
 
 There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all
 the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark
 Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable
Dark Sucker can operate again. These storage units are sized by the amount of dark

they can hold...... AAA, A, C, D for example.
  
  Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass
   generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker.
  Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick
instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore
it's not wise to touch an operating candle.
 
   Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the
surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and
deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep,
you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom
of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.
 
   Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to
stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door,
you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast,
you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.
 
   Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is actually a Dark Sucker.

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2 hours ago, brahamfireman said:

In electrical school 20 years ago, we called them dark sucker uppers. I've told the theory to some people that think long and hard before they realize I'm pulling their leg.

You, pulling there leg.  That’s a good one.    Not just anybody can understand how this works.  

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15 hours ago, Gearclash said:

Actually all electrical devices are Dark Suckers.  That is why if electrical parts get over heated smoke comes out.  That is really Dark leaking out that was stored up over time.

That's a whole different theory. Electrical devices like motors, phones, computers, etc don't run off electricity.  They are sealed up with a magic smoke from the factory, thats what magically makes them work. If the magic smoke is released, wether seen or smelt, the piece will  no longer will work.

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4 hours ago, brahamfireman said:

That's a whole different theory. Electrical devices like motors, phones, computers, etc don't run off electricity.  They are sealed up with a magic smoke from the factory, thats what magically makes them work. If the magic smoke is released, wether seen or smelt, the piece will  no longer will work.

Ah yes

Lucas - The Prince of Darkness perfected this!

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9 hours ago, brahamfireman said:

That's a whole different theory. Electrical devices like motors, phones, computers, etc don't run off electricity.  They are sealed up with a magic smoke from the factory, thats what magically makes them work. If the magic smoke is released, wether seen or smelt, the piece will  no longer will work.

I believe they also use that magic smoke to make tractor pto’s operate. If it gets out it won’t work. 

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6 hours ago, 1586 Jeff said:

Lucas???? AND “perfection”????

 

Clearly you have not seen the light!!!

That's the problem, YOU CAN'T "see the light" with Lucas.

Years ago, on the ACMOC board, someone modified the old saying about Lucas being "the prince of darkness", into "Lucas, the PRICE of darkness".

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