Jump to content

Why my first marriage failed.


Recommended Posts

A friend of mine said his ex-wife wants to get re-married.

So she can get the rest of his money!

  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 8
  • Confused 2
  • Sad 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Mine failed 'cause she wanted to screw other men. I told her not to let the screen door hit you on the way out!

  • Like 5
  • Haha 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

Question is, who’s mother was she?

  • Haha 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, gashog said:

Mine failed 'cause she wanted to screw other men. I told her not to let the screen door hit you on the way out!

You mean to say her vagina was busy  elsewhere? 

  • Haha 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, vtfireman85 said:

You mean to say her vagina was busy  elsewhere? 

That's exactly what you could say. And it would be true-haha. And with my best friend. He really was my best friend. He got her out of my house!

  • Haha 15
Link to post
Share on other sites

The main reason for divorce is marriage in the first place

  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 8
Link to post
Share on other sites

My buddy said him and his ex had a good sex life she was just having more than he was?

His buddies wife got a job up north working as a camp cook, starting pulling in great money then switched her shift so her week out with him was on her cycle?when she couldn’t earn the extra cash

  • Haha 5
  • Sad 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

......yeah...we wonder about Lorenzo.......pity  about that marriage business....

...you got to wonder why he didn't pick the younger girl......strange isn't it  how the 'alpha  male's ' mind works...if it works   at all....

...maybe those monolithic  creations on Easter Island  had an undue influence .......maybe he just liked ...(evidently...).....the strong, silent type......:mellow:

Mike

  • Haha 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Ian Beale said:

I saw the term "semen collector" used recently

WE had a couple of married ladies  ( cooks )up in one northern camp one year,and they were "bestowing " favours  to some of the lads apparently, One was called "Chevron" and the other was the "sperm hog"  It seemed quite fitting !! For those who dont  remember the old sign at Chevron gas stations ."the town pump".

  • Haha 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

My 1st marriage ended when my wife asked if I thought we should get a divorce.?

  • Haha 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

My first marriage ended when I never asked anyone.... 

Plan on staying thata way too.

And in that mode, I've made and lost fortunes, spent most of my money on Cars, Trucks, Airplanes, Bikes, Boats, Booze and Women, the rest I've just wasted...

  • Like 1
  • Haha 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, N S said:

My first marriage ended when I never asked anyone.... 

Plan on staying thata way too.

And in that mode, I've made and lost fortunes, spent most of my money on Cars, Trucks, Airplanes, Bikes, Boats, Booze and Women, the rest I've just wasted...

...no tractors....??????!!!!

Mike

  • Haha 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/8/2021 at 9:08 PM, Ian Beale said:

I saw the term "semen collector" used recently

I have a cousin who favors the phrase “come dumpster”

  • Haha 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

Tractors and other machinery (dozers, excavators, etc.), filled in between all the rest, which didn't leave all that much room .......... 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I DID THREE TIMES AROUND. FIRST ONE COULDNT KEEP HER PANTS ON. SHE COULD WITH ME BUT NOT ALL THE OTHERS. 

  • Sad 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, farmall666 said:

I DID THREE TIMES AROUND. FIRST ONE COULDNT KEEP HER PANTS ON. SHE COULD WITH ME BUT NOT ALL THE OTHERS. 

SHE HAD PEANUT BUTTER LEGS. ALWAYS LIKED TO SPREAD...BUT NOT FOR ME...

  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

Co worker snuck outta the house from his wife went down to the dance hall, one of his friends came in right after he got there and said man i got lucky with that gal she said to send you out shes ready for you now co worker went out to the car got in the back seat started getting busy with her and a cop walks up shines a light in there eyes and says oh sorry i didn't know you where in there with your wife, co worker yells i didn't either till you shined that light in here!

  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Warning!  This was in a book of tall tales some time ago

He and she have a barney and she leaves for mother's.  Some time later he gets a telegram saying

"Feeling new woman.  Coming home Friday"

His reply

"So am I.  Stay another fortnight"

  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

HAD A CEMENT TRUCK DRIVERS WIFE WAS SCREWING AROUND ON HIM. DROVE BY THE HOUSE WITH TRUCK OVER NOON HOUR. SURE ENUFF SHINEY NEW SPORTS CAR CONVERTIBLE. TOP DOWN. HE SWUNG BOOM OVER AND FILLED IT UP. DONT KNOW IF HE TROWELED IT OFF WHEN DONE.LOL 

  • Haha 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, farmall666 said:

HAD A CEMENT TRUCK DRIVERS WIFE WAS SCREWING AROUND ON HIM. DROVE BY THE HOUSE WITH TRUCK OVER NOON HOUR. SURE ENUFF SHINEY NEW SPORTS CAR CONVERTIBLE. TOP DOWN. HE SWUNG BOOM OVER AND FILLED IT UP. DONT KNOW IF HE TROWELED IT OFF WHEN DONE.LOL 

I’ve heard that story in every town I’ve been in....

  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Marriage is the true cause of divorce?

Think with the big head and not the little one!

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/8/2021 at 7:49 AM, gashog said:

That's exactly what you could say. And it would be true-haha. And with my best friend. He really was my best friend. He got her out of my house!

LOL A brother in law says the same thing about a friend of his. He caught them in bed. She's long gone and the other man? He's still friends with the BIL!🤣

 

Rick

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...