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Years ago in Boy Scouts we were selling poppies, after we were done we went to the Legion, this was around 1994, a WW2 veteran there told about when he was young that a mouse was getting into the brea

Oh......you know a few Australians  ??? Mike

If you could buy him for what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he's worth you could be rich.

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1 hour ago, 1466fan said:

He went to (the outhouse) and the hogs ate him. 

Yup - heard that one a lot.

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3 hours ago, Stuffcollector said:

"Takes him two hours to watch 60 minuets" 

I know people that slow. Seams like they are every where in front of me while driving!

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More than one way to skin a cat,  either way..... cat doesn’t like it. 

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On 1/4/2021 at 11:35 AM, DT Fan said:

Scotty, NEMC. He also said about another coworker;

"He'd rather climb a tree and lie to you than stand on the ground and tell the truth."

You know the fellow in question, we went to school (Ankeny) with him. Let's see if you figure it out.

Took me a while but I think i do know. Lol. 

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"As independent as a hog on ice."  I have seen that happen, trying to get them off the ice can get you bit.

"Not worth the powder it would take to blow him up."  From when smokeless powder became popular and black powder was so cheap even the poorest farmer could afford to buy it for blowing out stumps, rocks, etc.

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some come here to sit and think

some come here to sh#t and stink

I came here to scrach my b@lls and read the bullsh&t on the walls 

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Son, I can weld anything except a broken heart. I can even weld a cat's a$$ to a brass doorknob. Here, you hold the cat.

 

I ain't broke, just badly bent.

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6 hours ago, m.c.farmerboy said:

I haven't had this much fun sence the hogs ate my baby brother

From the wringer washing machine days. I heard it as haven't had this much fun since sis got her boob caught in the wringer

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From a restroom wall about 10 miles south of the scale at Macon, Missouri:

“Here I sit among the vapor

Some $hit a$$ used all the paper

The scale is closed and I can’t linger

Look out a$$hole, here comes my finger.”

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42 minutes ago, E160BHM said:

From a restroom wall about 10 miles south of the scale at Macon, Missouri:

“Here I sit among the vapor

Some $hit a$$ used all the paper

The scale is closed and I can’t linger

Look out a$$hole, here comes my finger.”

....yes......a splendid  piece of homespun  philosphy.......and definitely   not from a ''turban'' wearer..Good one !!!!

Mike

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19 hours ago, m.c.farmerboy said:

some come here to sit and think

some come here to sh#t and stink

I came here to scrach my b@lls and read the bullsh&t on the walls 

Another version:

Some come here to sit and think

Others come to $hi* and stink

I came here to whap my dink

Cause my girl’s pu*$y is on the blink.

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I've heard a ton of them but some of the most memorable, and very fitting to the current crop of political critters:

"Dumb as A Box of Rocks"

"Dumb as a Bag O Hammers"

 And my all time favorite:

"Has with an IQ lower than bacteria"

 

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"Either pick your nose or pick your butt don't just stand there watching everyone else work. Make it look like you're doing something"

 

You know what? When I stop what I'm working on I usually find myself doing one or the other 

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4 hours ago, N S said:

I've heard a ton of them but some of the most memorable, and very fitting to the current crop of political critters:

Lower than whale poo comes to mind

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Can't get anything done if you don't get started on it

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