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Funny quips


junkandcattle
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“Meaner than a gar”

”tougher than a pine knot”


I should probably apologize because all of those earlier were very crude. Working where I do, you are around some rough characters a lot. The sayings or “quips” are normally a reflection of the people that told them.  I can’t say any are original to me but I have always liked one liners and try to remember what I hear. 
 

my Grandma would say “one side or a leg off” when you got in the way as a little kid. Not in a mean way but you got the point. 

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4 minutes ago, junkandcattle said:

One brick short of a load

Dad would say before cultivating " careful or you will straighten my rows"

My uncle always said “you get more corn in a crooked row”. Grandpa was known to plant very straight rows, Uncle......not so much

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“Drier than a popcorn fart”

”it’s so dry around here the catfish have got ticks”

”so much for a fountain of youth, what about a fountain of smart?”

”if you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough”

”he’s windier than a sack full of A$$holes”

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"You can't polish a turd."     when referring to an item or someone's workmanship 

"The lights are on, but nobody's home."   when referring to someone's intelligence 

"The elevator doesn't seem to make it to the top floor."     same 

"A few cards shy of a full deck."    same 

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