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bitty

Everybody keeps hanging up on me

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So yesterday is started to proliferate with my cell phone. I got two scam calls yesterday. The first one was about my electric bill that I had overpaid ( I am auto withdrawal). When I talked to the person I said I was part of the FBI office and I said no we don't have electric here I we run everything on generators so that if there's a terrorist attack we don't have our power go out. Somewhere around this point I lost them.

So a half hour later I get another call about my extended vehicle warranty. So I pressed one to confirm what make and model of vehicle I have. I proceeded to explain I have a 2004 Creekside manufacturing four tire buggy pulled by two Clydesdales. The phone somehow went dead again as this idiot hung up on me also.

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You answer your phone?

I rarely answer if I don't know the number.

Years ago I got a live telemarketer on my landline. An outspoken woman was visiting and I asked if anyone wanted to talk with them. She took the phone and began to fake an orgasm over the phone! The hung up on her too.

Thx-Ace 

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4 minutes ago, acem said:

You answer your phone?

I rarely answer if I don't know the number.

Years ago I got a live telemarketer on my landline. An outspoken woman was visiting and I asked if anyone wanted to talk with them. She took the phone and began to fake an orgasm over the phone! The hung up on her too.

Thx-Ace 

I always answer my phone. That is if I get it out in time, or up I'm in service, or if my phone actually rings when someone tries to call me. Unless I'm at church then I don't answer it. A lot of times it'll be a number I don't recognize but it's someone that I need to talk to. I am anticipating MTO calling needing me to run bail money out to the local jail

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If my cell phone rang in church I'd answer it. Hello? Who's this? Yes lord. Of course lord. Yes lord he/she is here. Yes lord I will tell him/her! Yes lord. Yes lord he is long winded but  the sermons are good...........

 

Rick

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My favorite reply.........

(Whispering)

It's done, but there's blood everywhere!!!!

Then hang up.

Mike

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they got now where they hack into peoples numbers and call, i dont always get to answer but if its local i call back just in case its for work, when you call back it goes to the regular number, i called a number back awhile back and a older lady answered the phone i was as nice as i could be again thinking it was for work and said i'm returning a call from this number right off the start she began to get really rude with me saying she was the only one home (which you never should say to a stranger) and she never called me i dailed the number wrong and i needed to leave her alone i laughed and said i i hit the call back button and it was like you flipped a switch she went to being nice. A few weeks later it happened again with a different lady i said well here we go again but this lady was very sweet we talked for a while  think she was happy for someone to talk to

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Me answering

I got the stuff and it's good quality, I'll get you the 10K.

Meet me at the Walmart at 2:00.

Put on a pink bra in the ladies section and walk over to the automotive section so I know it's you.

😉

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1 hour ago, bitty said:

I am anticipating MTO calling needing me to run bail money out to the local jail

How much can I count on you for?

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7 minutes ago, MTO said:

How much can I count on you for?

Not much, I dairy farm ..... :(

 

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12 minutes ago, MTO said:

How much can I count on you for?

I say we all chip in what we feel you are worth.....right now? We are at -3.23!

 

Rick

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I always tell them Larry dosent have this number anymore , he’s in prison for murdering a telemarketer . 

Then they hang up

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5 minutes ago, lorenzo said:

I always tell them Larry dosent have this number anymore , he’s in prison for murdering a telemarketer . 

Then they hang up

I might have to steal this one .... 

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1 hour ago, oldtanker said:

I say we all chip in what we feel you are worth.....right now? We are at -3.23!

 

Rick

that was hurtful    sniff. 

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How about, Duffy's Tavern, Duffy ain't here,   OH, hello Duffy.      

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Salyer Livery Stable, which ARSE would you like to speak to?  Did that once as a child and my Dad was telephoning home to speak with my Mom, his reply was he was speaking to the only ARSE there!

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A friend answers (town) whorehouse. Come on down. We're out of ladies right now but can service you by hand!

I gave up answering unknown numbers. If it's important they leave a voicemail and I check that. My message doesn't even say my name. Just 'you know what this is and what to do'. If you can't figure that out...

Thx-Ace 

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7 hours ago, acem said:

She took the phone and began to fake an orgasm

They can do that???

Asking for a friend🙄

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I block all those #'s these days but I used to give them a line, used the generator one too for the electric utility apology call......Or "we are off grid" makes them hang up.

Used to get:  In heavy accent: " This is Microsoft calling about the problem with your computer".    I'd say Really ??!! Wow I had no idea.  "Yes there is a malware on your computer that we can fix". No you can't fix it.   " Yes we fix". No you can't I don't have a computer, click.

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8 hours ago, bitty said:

So yesterday is started to proliferate with my cell phone. I got two scam calls yesterday. The first one was about my electric bill that I had overpaid ( I am auto withdrawal). When I talked to the person I said I was part of the FBI office and I said no we don't have electric here I we run everything on generators so that if there's a terrorist attack we don't have our power go out. Somewhere around this point I lost them.

So a half hour later I get another call about my extended vehicle warranty. So I pressed one to confirm what make and model of vehicle I have. I proceeded to explain I have a 2004 Creekside manufacturing four tire buggy pulled by two Clydesdales. The phone somehow went dead again as this idiot hung up on me also.

I HAD ONE CALL ME A WEEK OR TWO AGO ASKING ABOUT MY VEHICLE WARRANTY. I TOLD THEM SURE. THEN THEY ASKED WHAT YEAR AND MODRL CAR I HAD. TOLD THEM A 1969 FORD LTD. CLICK THATS ALL I HEARD. THEN I HAD ONE CALL ASKING FOR ME BY MY NAME. I TOLD THEM HE WAS IN JAIL. THEN THEY ASKED WELL WHO IS THIS. TOLD THEM HIS COUISON. THEN I ASKED THEM IF THEY WANTED TO KNOW WHY HE WAS IN JAIL. . I TOLD THEM HE WAS IN JAIL FOR SMELLING LITTLE GIRLS BICYCLE SEATS. CLICK THATS ALL I HEARD ON THAT ONE TOO.

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We get a lot of Chinese speaking warnings, and then we get heavy East Indian accents about what ever, they are almost all on a loop so just hanging up is the only answer.

The income tax scam is a favourite, a new dodge to that is your SIN number has been detected in an illegal way and your credit cards and bank accounts are frozen.

Then the usual warranty, computer, trip of a lifetime crap. But they too start out on a loop, if they are live I just ask for a callback number and I will call them back at home, they say no they can’t take calls at home to which I say now you know how I feel, click.

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Faking an orgasm?

Oh yeah. I had a crazy girlfriend when I was between wives. When she could tell our relationship was heading south she would scream so loud I swear her neighbors would hear, she lived in a house, not an apartment.

She did have a lot of real ones too. She was almost a perfect girlfriend but would have made a horrible wife! If she was as hot as meg Ryan it might have been different. However her performance in bed was her primary strong point!

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DlNEX0fbGePg&ved=2ahUKEwjele2v86rqAhUDUKwKHXvFDQ8QwqsBMAN6BAgMEAU&usg=AOvVaw0psD943h3253OjJX-hWdDD

 

Thx-Ace 

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I answer "They are all running south, hurry up before they get away, your guns all loaded?" Most hang up before the whole line. have used a lot of the ones mentioned too. Boy I hate dose guys.

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I usually answer them and say hello, till I get figured out it's a telemarketer. Then, pretend they are breaking up and say, "Hello?! Hello?! Yea yes, this is Stan's morgue you stab em, we slab em! What can we do for you?!"

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In my best 'radio announcer's voice'

CALLER NUMBER FIVE, YOU'RE ON THE AIR!

 Click

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A girl called the other day raising money for breast cancer.

She finally asked if I could help with this issue?

I said, "Sure, I really appreciate a nice set!"

She hung up on me.

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