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How to spend your stimulus dollars


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Hello Taxpayers,

Sometimes this year, we taxpayers will again receive another economic stimulus payment.

It is indeed a very exciting program, and I’ll explain it by using a Q&A format:

 

Q: What is an Economic Stimulus payment?

A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

 

Q: Where will the government get this money?

A: From taxpayers.

 

Q: So, the government is giving me back my own money?

A: Only a smidgen of it.

 

Q: What is the purpose of this payment?

A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.

 

Q: Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?

A: Shut up.

 

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U. S. Economy with and your stimulus check wisely:

 

* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.

* if you spend it on gasoline, your money goes to the Arabs.

* if you purchase a computer, it goes to India, Taiwan or China.

* if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.

* if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

* if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.

* if you pay your credit card off, or buy stock, it will go to the management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

 

Instead keep the money in America by:

(1) Spending it at a yard sale, or

(2) Go to a ballgame, or

(3) Spend it on prostitutes, or

(4) Beer, or

(5) Tattoos

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

 

CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day. No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help.

 

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8 minutes ago, lightninboy said:

I'll need stimulus money just to pay for my ever-increasing health insurance premiums.

Thank you obama! Same problem. Our Blue Cross went from 2500.00 a year to over 11,000.00 with a lot higher deductible since the so called affordable health care act B.S. went into affect. 

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17 minutes ago, lightninboy said:

I'll need stimulus money just to pay for my ever-increasing health insurance premiums.

I`m not ashamed to say I sold ALL my unnecessary toys and some that were necessary to keep up with my $1300/mo heathcare for ME only.

Even re-mortgaged.

Sold all my coin collection, which wasn`t huge but I enjoyed it. 

And I scratched through till I reached 65. 

Yeah, thanks Obama. 

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8 minutes ago, Bross said:

You had me at beer....the rest of my bad decisions usually come naturally after a few beers, ha

Hey, welcome! 

When did you sneak in here?

FYI, watch that old tanker guy..... he`s slippery. :ph34r:

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1 hour ago, TP from Central PA said:

The majority of those checks, if they aren't needed for real needs, will be stashed.................

Might as well spend it now, cause inflation is gonna get reallllyyyy ugly after this.  

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2 hours ago, TP from Central PA said:

The majority of those checks, if they aren't needed for real needs, will be stashed.................

No they won't Most people under the income cap for receiving them live paycheck to paycheck. Even those making 75K a year. Hecl lot of folks making 200-300K live paycheck to paycheck. 

I'll bet the paycheck to paycheck crowd will mostly pay bills. A lot of the other ones you'll see down at WalMart looking at big screen TVs.

1 hour ago, Cdfarabaugh said:

Might as well spend it now, cause inflation is gonna get reallllyyyy ugly after this.  

Agreed!

1 hour ago, TP from Central PA said:

Didn't say I was going to stash it, but I would wager most will.

I'll take that bet.....

 

Rick

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16 hours ago, Rusty shackleford said:

I had an appointment to get a tattoo a few weeks ago and the shop shut down due to coronavirus, otherwise I was going to get this Screenshot_20200306-104247_Snapchat.thumb.jpg.45460eecb64ebd887830a3c0a2db8c6c.jpg

Now THAT is some ink that’ll make ya think!!

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On 4/2/2020 at 2:05 PM, oldtanker said:

No they won't Most people under the income cap for receiving them live paycheck to paycheck. Even those making 75K a year. Hecl lot of folks making 200-300K live paycheck to paycheck. 

The more you make, the more you spend, the bigger the monthly payments you can pay/owe

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9 minutes ago, TroyDairy said:

A wise welder said $1200 buys a nicely equiped AR-15....just planing ideas here 

Hmmm, I'll tell my wife that's what I'm going to do. She's would not be into me getting an AR-15. So I'll change my mind and buy another letter series or an early number series tractor!  This could work.......?

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1 hour ago, TroyDairy said:

A wise welder said $1200 buys a nicely equiped AR-15....just planing ideas here 

$750 and you can build your own, so I have heard. ?

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15 hours ago, RBootsMI said:

The more you make, the more you spend, the bigger the monthly payments you can pay/owe

 

On 4/2/2020 at 2:05 PM, oldtanker said:

No they won't Most people under the income cap for receiving them live paycheck to paycheck. Even those making 75K a year. Hecl lot of folks making 200-300K live paycheck to paycheck. 

I'll bet the paycheck to paycheck crowd will mostly pay bills. A lot of the other ones you'll see down at WalMart looking at big screen TVs.

Agreed!

I'll take that bet.....

 

Rick

Got a gal at work, her husband is a journeyman electrician at a local plant. Camper, big Tahoe , nice house. Always complains no money  Yet take hubby and 3 kids to Disney World every Christmas or Spring break.  Pissed because they couldn't go this spring break. I didn't get to Disney World until I was married  and we took our kids once . But then my wife was a stay home mom and we didn't complain we didn't have any money.

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15 minutes ago, Raildudes dad said:

 

Got a gal at work, her husband is a journeyman electrician at a local plant. Camper, big Tahoe , nice house. Always complains no money  Yet take hubby and 3 kids to Disney World every Christmas or Spring break.  Pissed because they couldn't go this spring break. I didn't get to Disney World until I was married  and we took our kids once . But then my wife was a stay home mom and we didn't complain we didn't have any money.

Believe me I know how it goes. We lived on my military pay and my wife stayed at home. Her and I did without things so the kids had things. Toys, decent school clothing. Good birthdays and such. Finally when I was a SSG we could start to afford some things and it still wasn't much. Never been to Disney World. But the important thing is we learned to live within our means. And we raised 7 kids. It was her fault......she took everything serious that I was poking around in fun.......

 

Rick

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11 minutes ago, oldtanker said:

Believe me I know how it goes. We lived on my military pay and my wife stayed at home. Her and I did without things so the kids had things. Toys, decent school clothing. Good birthdays and such. Finally when I was a SSG we could start to afford some things and it still wasn't much. Never been to Disney World. But the important thing is we learned to live within our means. And we raised 7 kids. It was her fault......she took everything serious that I was poking around in fun.......

 

Rick

We were fortunate, my mother who was a widow before the grand kids were born, took our family and my sisters family and rented 2 cottages next to each other on Lake Charlevoix for a week in summer. So she could spoil them all together for a week.  The kids had fun playing in the water and on the beach. Grandma took us all downtown for ice cream just about every night :)  I rented a jet ski for the week when they were older, didn't own one. Had a 14 foot sailboat, no power boat. And guess what, all those kids turned out just fine. Grandma was proud of how they turned out - well maybe the 1 granddaughter was a bit snippy at times but she learned that from her dad (not me LOL)

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I would buy a Farmall ..... 

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