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vtfireman85

Since the joke thread is gone here’s something to chuckle at

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Hard to type when you've got a Tim's double double in one hand and a hockey stick in the other. Gotta keep the typing to a minimum 

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24 minutes ago, IH766 said:

Hard to type when you've got a Tim's double double in one hand and a hockey stick in the other. Gotta keep the typing to a minimum 

had to google Tims double double   :lol:

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14 hours ago, MTO said:

 

Heard you the first time.... I`m not deaf.

Eh?

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14 hours ago, MTO said:

 

Heard you the first time.... I`m not deaf.

Eh?

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8 minutes ago, MTO said:

had to google Tims double double   :lol:

Never too old to learn somethin new, eh?

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2 minutes ago, IH766 said:

Never too old to learn somethin new, eh?

See! You typed "eh"!

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6 minutes ago, MTO said:

See! You typed "eh"!

I put the hockey stick down just for you

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1 hour ago, MTO said:

had to google Tim's double double   :lol:

Would you have to google "5-hole"?  Oh and don't belittle goalies or D-men for "kneeling".  They often have to do that as a part of their job.

2 hours ago, IH766 said:

Hard to type when you've got a Tim's double double in one hand and a hockey stick in the other. Gotta keep the typing to a minimum 

Great Tim's reference.

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3 hours ago, MTO said:

a-boot

Howz come the Canadians don`t type "eh"?

 Eh?

Autocorrect puts the wrong a.... I mean a, in there

See just doesn't work

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No photo description available.You old boys may not get this one and maybe the young ones either...:ph34r:

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Go ask Alice......"When she's 10 feet tall".   

"and the doer mouse said..... feed your head, feed your head."

 Grace Slick... hot babe in the 60's. Also one of the most popular songs in the late 60's. She said she wrote the song in about 10 minutes when she was tripping on LSD.

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Lol   

A friend of mine ownes a body shop and one of his employees was cutting up pounds of kind kind while we were at lunch using the paint scale . Very accurate right to the ounce.  He thought we didn't know . 

His dealer would call about 11 AM and ask for Him. They had a code.  When he would respond “ The White Knight Is Talking Backwords “ we knew the shipment was in . 

 

Great song BTW  

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.......an Attorney  arrived   home late, after  a very tough day , trying to get a stay of execution.   His last minute plea for clemency had failed, he was feeling worn out and depressed.  As   soon  as he arrived home, his wife started on him...."What time of night to be getting home is this ?? Where have you been?? Your dinner is cold  and I am not reheating it "

Too shattered to respond to this familiar tirade, he poured himself a shot of whiskey, and headed off for a long hot spa, still pursued by sarcastic   remarks....

While  he was in the spa, the phone rang. The wife answered it...and was told that her husbands client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution, thus  Wright would not be hanged tonight.

Realising what a terrible day he had, she went upstairs  to give him the good news. As she  entered the spa room, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet . "They are not hanging Wright tonight "  she said..

He whirled  around and shouted " FOR  THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP !? "

Mike

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Image may contain: one or more people, text that says 'I STILL HEAR THOSE VOICES TELLING ME: GO ON BUY ANOTHER TRACTOR'

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here is an old one. a guy was driving down the road, he noticed a state trooper coming up on him with his lights on, he sped up the trooper was trying to stop him. soon he was going 120 miles per hour,, finally he did stop, trooper asked why he didn't stop, he said a few years ago my wife left me for a state trooper I thought he was trying to bring her back,

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Just so you know what we're all aboot up here MTO

a04f5b91c0ffacb8af39fe61921f3d54b8cdaa79380258bc55422e94ae17daae.jpg

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On 8/6/2019 at 1:58 PM, db1486 said:

Autocorrect puts the wrong a.... I mean a, in there

See just doesn't work

I'm surprised there isn't an emoji for "eh".

Mike

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No photo description available.

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68617815_2503985832954839_6988190387940622336_n.png?_nc_cat=1&_nc_oc=AQkP1K2t9smQh_RFaOkhmA_KlSWjJVnzbOMzM3TMwSQXhYtADnZ8P_MUJLfAZAJ9OBc&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=f3450b3cd4d11019074334f50e06e1ac&oe=5DDF03F7

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marriage dont know.jpg

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On 8/6/2019 at 5:22 PM, dads706 said:

Go ask Alice......"When she's 10 feet tall".   

"and the doer mouse said..... feed your head, feed your head."

 Grace Slick... hot babe in the 60's. Also one of the most popular songs in the late 60's. She said she wrote the song in about 10 minutes when she was tripping on LSD.

Last time I seen here she was looking great for her age and considering all the chemicals she ingested.

What a voice.

White Rabbit

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family friendly bad dad jokes - compliments of my 15 y/o

how to do fix a sick bird....give it a little tweetment

how do you fix a sick pig...rub a little oinkment on it

what do you call a cow that doesnt give milk........a milk dud

 

 

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