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lorenzo

Pot to piss in ,and other old time sayings

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On 8/2/2018 at 3:34 PM, Randy Sohn said:

We always heard it up here as "Slower than molasses in January".

best, randy 

Seasonal adjustment to July down here

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“It’s been so long the crack of dawn makes me horny...”

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Dad used to say” he’s not afraid of work, he could lay down and sleep right next to it”

when I was young, we went to a small church that had a deaf couple that in the middle of the service would sometimes get in a argument. He would then yell really loudly “ go sit on a nail a scream for a hammer”

my dad thought it was funny, my mom didn’t.....

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Either shi! or get off the pot!

 

She’s so skinny if a guy stuck it in her too hard she might split 

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"You don't have to worry about him playing with fire, he'd never move fast enough to keep from getting burned"

"Dumber than a sack of hair"

"Kissed so much @__ that they have  $___ stains on their teeth"

"Never miss a good opportunity to shut up."

These are 4 that I don't see listed.

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 You only need to tools in life. WD – 40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should use the WD – 40. If it moves and shouldn’t use the duct tape. 

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A few sayings about life's problems.

"Alcohol - The cause of and solution to all of life's problems."

"There isn't a problem that can't be solved with proper lubrication."

A few more.

"When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail."

"That works about as well as goose sh1t going thru a tin horn"  - No idea on origin.

"If I had your money, I'd burn mine" 

"I've been called worse by better men than you"  or "I've been punched by bigger men than you" - From my dad back in his younger days.

When referring to the fake logs in a gas fireplace - "Why do they have to look like petrified Pterodactyl sh!t"

 

 

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Eat before you come to work and $ht when you get home...

That guy is a waste of skin...

You musta been born in a flower pot, 'cause you're daddy called you a bloomin' idiot...

 

 

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I remembered 2 more.

"Don't $___ where you eat."

"Grab your ears and go pop, (Person goes POP) Good now that you have your head out of your @$$ now listen "

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Never eat on a empty stomach

Measure once, cut twice, and it's still too short!

 

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If you can't run with it big dogs stay on the porch

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"Making money hand over fist."   Dad used to look at a woman of poor repute and say something to the effect: " If she had as many quills sticking out of her as she has had stuck in her, she would look like a porcupine.".    Yea, I know, this thread has taken a turn for the worse.

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On 7/23/2018 at 11:51 PM, new guy said:

"The writings on the wall" originated from the Bible when the hand (God's hand)appeared and wrote on the wall the some king was weighed and found wanting and would die. Maybe someone knows the names and book...

 

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On 8/8/2018 at 10:10 PM, Ian Beale said:

Seasonal adjustment to July down here

Concur!

You made me recall some stuff from back in the days when we flew to Adelaide from LAX with the 747s.  

And my P-51 Mustang (RAAF A 68-1) came from Woomera. 

best, randy

 

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One of my neighbor's favorites......

(that job's) worse then trying to put batteries in a 4020.

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The population of some small towns never changes.                                  Every time a baby is born, someone leaves town😲

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he's so dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot, with the directions on the heel. ( keeping in mind  turning it over to read the directions the piss would run out)

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