I have been Mia here for a month and wanted to check in. I have been thinking about how to tell this story and what to say but still have no words that seem correct.
My wife passed away unexpectedly a month ago. She didn't have any issues that We were aware of so it was a shock. We didn't do an autopsy but best guess was a heart attack. On a Friday night around 7:00 said She felt a little congested and hoped it wasn't getting sick. That night She got up with an upset stomach and all upper body ache. Laid around on Saturday and then asked to go get a flu test since She worked in the pharmacy at the hospital and wanted to be sure. Doc in the box said no flu, viral, and home again. Sunday morning she wasn't achy but stomach still upset. I went to church and then just hung out the rest of the day as she laid around. Monday morning She had moved to daughters bed cause she couldn't get comfortable so I asked how she felt. Thought she was feeling better so I told her to call when she got up and I ran and got a biscuit and dropped a vc off at a friends place. Was gone maybe 2 hours, called on the way home to no answer. When I got home bed was empty so I went to our room, light was on in bathroom and she was on the floor. I started chest compressions and called 911. After 2 transfers they finally sent a team. Maybe 6 minutes but it didn't matter. Not sure how long she had been gone but it was way past any chance. Needless to say My world has been upside down for the last month. Had one daughter in Ky at UK and the other was doing a gap year teaching thing in Spain. Got Her back on Wednesday, the one from KY in on Tuesday and visitation on Thursday with funeral on Friday. She had two sisters, one lives four houses up the street and the other 2 hours away in Alabama. Between them and the brother-in -laws they were saviors. I am not sure how I would have made it. My wife did all the paperwork for house and My business. I didn't even know how much money I had in checking accounts. I haven't paid a bill in the 30 years We were married, she wanted to do it all and I was good with that. I found the book with on line passwords but was still lost without their help. It is all working out and settling down. Young one is back at school and grades have been great so she seems ok. The other stayed for a few weeks and is back in Spain to finish out her commitment. She seems ok also, just got accepted to U of I in Urbana for a masters deal with full ride and extra money to live on. Apparently it is hard to get in there so that was a big deal I guess. Still trying to adjust to a new normal, been working daylight till dark so that helps.
I am telling Y'all this to hopefully help make aware of what can happen. The signs of heart attack in woman are different so pay attention to your wives and don't miss it like We did. Also sit down with them and go over all the day to day "stuff". If either one does the bills, bank, kids, whatever make sure the other knows how to check bank on line, pay bills and when they are due. Kids bills like college stuff. Insurance papers, location and what to do in case. Heck it took 32 days to get her last check from work and it was due for direct deposit on the following Thursday. Make sure mortgages are not locked in one persons name. I was not on either girls accounts and couldn't even check their balances, the reason was she was with them when opened and I just never went by to get added. Sorry for the Magna Carta here, just hunting for the right stuff to say. I should have let Y'all know sooner for pray request cause I sure need them but just couldn't bring Myself to open the computer.
She touched a ton of people but I had no idea how many. Pastor said first thing We had to have it all at Church cause funeral home wasn't large enough. Church holds 500 +, on visitation they opened the door at 4:00 and I saw the end of the line at 8:45. We guessed maybe 700 people came through and sanctuary was full on Friday with it raining the whole time. I have talked to many that came and to a person all say they have never been to a funeral as good as this one. That is odd to say but all agreed, there was even applause at the end. They are getting it together so I can share it and view again. Had three speakers including out pastor, all were close personal friends and it showed in the job they did. When I get a link I can post it if any wives want to watch, all say they left inspired to do more and step up. You truly miss how much the ones around us do till you see it from another side.
Enough rambling, I need to wash my truck since the rain is coming and it's sunny right now. Thanks for letting me vent a little. Watch your wives close, and give them an extra hug today. Gods plan is not always our plan, but it is always right. Sure hope I don't miss the next plan for me cause I sure didn't miss my plan changing! Randi